Swit swoo! You're going on a date! Whether it's that babe from Tinder or it's that absolute ride from your class, it doesn't matter we're all the same when it comes to getting ready for a date. It's Friday night and you're meeting at 8 for the cinema/drinks, and this is how your preparation schedule pretty much looks like.
1. Post dinner relaxation is in full swing and you're finding it difficult to get up off your arse and into the shower. You've eaten a good amount of food to prevent getting a bit too tipsy.
2. You didn't haven't any biscuits in the house, so naturally you start looking at low calorie cupcakes on Pinterest. It's not too long before you start looking at different hair-dos, contemplate learning how to do some kind cool eyeliner, before you know it, you've mentally changed your own image.
3. After deciding that you should definitely consider getting those highlights in your hair to kickstart you new-found image, you receive a call from your best friend. More than happy to talk about your impending romantic date, you both spend the next ten minutes discussing possible outcomes, a second date, the ride, kids (if you like him that much).
4. Noticing the time you urgently end the phonecall, with your friend demanding you introduce him to her. Hanging up in a panic you begin internally debating if you could get away with not washing your hair and drowning yourself perfume.
5. Realising that you haven't even brushed your hair since Tuesday you reckon you should probably hop into the shower... When the next ad break come on, it's not often they show this episode of The Simpsons. Then you'll actually start getting ready.
6. Ok, shower time it is! Time to weigh up the odds of you getting laid or not, after all there's nothing more devastating then shaving your legs for nothing. It's the weekend anyway, so you figure you might as well and hope it's worth the effort.
7. Growing weary of shaving your legs, you start doubting the fact that you're going to get your bit, powering through, you finally finish your legs, after what seems like an eternity. "He better be fucking worth it."
8. As you start on the billion other areas in need of deforestation, you start a lightning round of questions in your head; what if he's shorter than you remember? I wonder if he's nervous? What if he remembers me being prettier? The questions go on and on, until you realise you've washed out your conditioner about five minutes and you'd better get out.
9. "How the fuck did I spend that long in the shower? ". No time to think, better get starting on drying my hair. The next 25 minutes will be filled with trying to find your hair dryer, hair brush and you find yourself trying to do that cool braided hairstyle you saw earlier on Pinterest.
10. After awhile you realise it's not going so well and taking waaaay too long. Nooooooo! How the hell am I going to be ready in time!?! Half your head is heavily braided. He's going to think I look insane. Can't handle this, must de-stress, a small glass of wine won't do any harm.
11. Right, glass of wine in hand. Time to fix the hair situation. Running your straightener through your hair as fast as possible, you're happy to finally look like a normal person again. Before swiftly realising you have absolutely no make up on and no idea what you're wearing, shit.
12. Through your washing basket, wardrobe and on the floor of your bedroom you've settled on a nice little number which shows just the right amount of cleavage, that will definitely keep his attention.
13. You're only running a few minutes behind as this point so you throw your foundation on. In midst of applying doing your blusher/eyeshadow/lipstick you consider that maybe you should actually let your date know that you'll be just "five" minutes late.
14. As you apply eyeliner you realise that perhaps that one glass of wine (which may have turned into half the bottle) may have altered your motor skills. As you wipe and restart, the internal stress grows to the point of explosive frustration, throwing that make up idea out the fucking window, back to what you know.
15. Finally finished everything. Your moment(s) of self-admiration and vanity are interrupted with your date texting back saying no problem or whatever. Grand. This gives you a few more minutes to build your confidence before packing your bag.
16. Ok, so we got your purse, make up bag, keys, hair brush, hairspray, mirror, but do I bring a condom? Shrugging your shoulders you throw a few cheeky into your bag and you're on your way! And only half an hour late! Success!