How To Survive A Festival With Fuck All Money

May might have came faster than most of the men you've slept with but with Summer comes festival season. Ah, you can almost taste the watered down Heineken from a plastic cup. The weather is warming up, the nights are getting longer and it's got us dreaming about freezing our tits off in our pop up tents we bought from Aldi.


Ireland may be small, but we know how to hold a good festival. In terms of different tastes in music, there's something to tickle everyone's fancy. But with festivals comes the necessities one must buy, which in turn means forking out money we students don't have. Where there's a will there's a way and sometimes one must budget themselves as much as possible to save money while also being able to drink themselves stupid.


If there's one thing I learned while being a student its how to budget. Only in college is it deemed acceptable to use ''Nah I'm broke'' as an excuse to avoid responsibilities. So embrace the broke-ness and start shopping in Lidl for your alcoholic needs. 3.99 for a bottle of wine? Excuse me while I shove my hand down the back of the sofa in search for lost change. Lidl is great for bargains everyone knows that. Where better to get your wet wipes that will be used to wash the smell of sweat and stale smoke off your body than Lidl?



Along with your 'portable shower' for the weekend, Lidl's beauty products include sanitary towels, jumbo bottles of deodorant that actually makes you question if a bottle that big is really necessary, moisturiser, cotton pads for you anti-makeup wipe princesses, toothbrushes, toothpaste and even dental floss if you're looking to go all out. All of this can be bought for under a tenner. You may need sunscreen, this is more expensive so stump up or do as I do and use someone elses.


Now we've gotten hygiene must haves out of the way, food is next on the list. In a festival's defence, food vans are usually parked up around the area, but incase you want to pass on the dodgy battered sausages, once again Lidl is here to save the day. Not that you would be hoarding a three course meal along with you to Electric Picnic but a few cereal bars and 'share' packs of cheese and onion crisps goes a long way.



I use the word share lightly because realistically, you're not  going to want to share your food with anyone when you're on a come down in your damp tent that smells of sex. With Lidl brand chocolate and biscuits that let's face it, taste more or less the exact same, you could buy a weekly shop of diabetes-laced stodge for less than 20 quid.


Lastly, you can't experience camping without a tent. If you don't want to fork out 50 for a tent that you will probably leave behind along with your dignity and self respect, then yes you guessed it, Lidl has a variety of camping equipment. From fold out chairs to disposable barbecues, Lidl can get you kitted out before you set out on your drunken weekend for a price within your budget.


With the above recommendations of where to go festival shopping on the cheap, the extras are up to yourselves. Pack lightly but sensibly. There's no such thing as too many condoms or bottles of water.


Video: PACKING FOR COACHELLA: Music Festival Essentials!

Credit: Bryn McCrystal

Alexandra Marsden
Article written by
18, journalism student who loves smokes and cans

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