If Girls Were Guys For A Day...

I think every girl out there can attest to the fact that sometimes, being a man looks oh so appealing. Men, a lot of the time, appear to have the better end of the gender bargain. That is not to say that we'd love to be men on a permanent basis, us girls are generally happy being girls, but still, we sure as hell would like to try it for a day. So, for all of you curious creatures out there, here are the things that girls would do if we were guys for day.

1) Go Topless

When the going gets hot, the tops come off. Not girls tops, unless you're looking for an unnecessary amount of attention, but guys tops. It is perfectly acceptable for a man to walk around with his abs out for the world to appreciate but for some reason, getting your girl baps out is less encouraged by society (sleazy men aside.) We would love to know that cool, easy breezy feeling.

2) Engage In A Lad Conversation

Girls are curious about what lads actually say about us when we're not around. What they talk about to fellow men other than matches and porn and hot women and calling one other dickheads and whether their feelings and shit ever really actually come into the equation. Sadly I doubt it, but there's only one way to be sure.


3) Get Up And Go

What a comfort it must be to wake up every morning, throw on some clothes and go. No make up, no battle with the hair monster, no fuss. The biggest task a man has to worry about in the morning is finding a t-shirt that doesn't smell like it was on the back of a dead cat last night. The sniff test has never looked so appealing.

4) Pee Standing Up

So very, very many girls can recall long journeys on which you wanted to die due to the overwhelming urge to pee. You stop at the side of the road and it's all just awkward personified. Lads do not have this problem. You can relieve yourself anywhere, (but hopefully you actually don't.) Ever heard of a she-wee? Don't google it. Ever. Just make the use of your day as an upright, peeing man.


5) Have Sex

It just looks so easy for men. It doesn't appear to take much in fairness. No awkward positioning of limbs or any of that malarkey. No thought really needs to go into it. We ladies would love to know what it's like as a man, to see if it lives up to all the hype. Which, in the cold light of day, it probably wouldn't.

6) Some Self Lovin'

Men talk about pleasuring themselves more than is really necessary. Ok, we get that you discovered this act as being the best, free present ever but honestly, there is no need to talk about it on an hour to hour basis. If you can't beat them, as the saying goes, become one of them and try it for yourself.


7) Get Punched In The Privates

Some idiotic men claim that this hurts worse than childbirth. Please excuse me whilst I go and laugh loudly in the corner. I've seen "tough men" reduced to tears from a simple smack into the crotch. It can't hurt that badly we reckon. We're used to far worse things than this. Let's just try it to be sure though.

8) Creep In The Changing Room

Men are so focused on women, that they sometimes look right past what is under their very nose and fail to realise and appreciate the many beautiful members of their own species. Hot men. Not to worry boys, we'll take care of this, if we were men for the day we'd sit there and quietly take in all of the surrounding, half naked men. No problem.

9) Go On The Pull

Spot the pack of fast moving men in the nightclub. Every girl secretly wants to go on the pull as a man,  just to see how it differs. Whereas we, on the night out pull,  stand back and make them do the hard work, they shimmy around, vying for our attention. Don't worry men, we'll do the hard creeping work, for one day only.

Alison Keogh
Article written by
Alison decided to follow a sensible career route and chose to study Media. She happens to think of herself as a kind of Irish Beyonce after four Coronas, which usually results in her being deserted on the dance-floor by her loving friends. Her horrifically short attention span seeps into many aspects of her life, resulting in her half hearing important facts and hating people who walk at a leisurely pace.

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