The city in the east of Canada is a hugely popular haunt for Irish migrants. Having previously spent ten months in cosmopolitan Toronto, a few things came to my attention.
1. When giving directions, you say east and west
Anyone who's been to Canada knows it's a grid system. But when you first arrive in Toronto and you're wandering around like Father Dougal in the big smoke, you're supposed to look confused when people start saying weird things like 'ten blocks east' and 'five blocks west.'
When you begin to understand these directions however, and start spouting them off yourself, we have concerns that you've lost your Irish ways.
2. You've stopped comparing the bacon to Irish rashers
While it takes a lot for us to get our heads around the grub in Canada, Peameal bacon is actually alright. How long has it been since you've mentioned Irish rashers though? Have you forgotten about them altogether? Shameful.
3. And you've practically forgotten that Irish chocolate has ever existed
Fair enough, we've happily scoffed a few Oh Henry! bars in our time but they're still not the same as our own. And don't even get us started on Crispy Crunch bars...
4. Adding on tax to the price is second nature and you don't even complain about tipping anymore
If an item is priced at $5, it doesn't phase you when the VAT is added on at the till and at the bar, you tip a dollar per drink without even thinking.
When you return to Ireland, you're bewildered when you find that you actually have money on a night out. Grand, more drinking money.
5. Craving chipper food is a thing of the past
It's poutine all the way.
6. You've forgotten what Penneys looks like
When you first arrive in Toronto, you long for the days when you were a Penneys hun, aimlessly filling your shopping basket with all the good stuff without a care in the world.
But suddenly you've stopped saying, 'You can get these jeans in Penney's for a fiver' - in fact, you've stopped mentioning Penney's at all.
7. If you saw a pint of milk now...well it'd be strange
You're all like, 'Yes they sell milk in bags, what of it?'
8. The bathroom is a washroom and anyone who calls it a toilet is just plain rude
9. It wouldn't phase you to wear a light jacket in minus 5 weather
Sure it's practically boiling outside compared to previous days. And you find yourself never ever complaining about the Irish winters again.
10. You wait for the little man to turn white before you walk across a five mile road
The road is practically empty and you still wait. Patiently.
11. The patio is where you go for drinks now