They say being able to ‘read’ someone is one of the most invaluable skills you can have in day to day life.
Studies show 55% of all communication is through movement rather than word. Reading someone’s body language is all about understanding their subconscious thoughts, thoughts they automatically portray in their movements. Educate yourself in the art and you may find you get what you want, avoid conflict, nail interviews, flirt and seduce others without them even realising.
I’ll be on this topic for the next 6 weeks. Week one is all about reading someone to tell if they’re lying.
1. Shrugs a lot
If they give you a statement like ‘It was just a lads night in’ or ‘No I wouldn’t go near him with a ten foot pole’ WHILE shrugging then be sceptical. This movement is automatic but shows that they are uncommitted to what they are saying. People shrug more frequently than normal when they’re fibbing.
2. Tongues tells truth
If someone flicks their tongue out briefly, catches it between their teeth or licks their lips it’s a demonstration that they’re cautious to proceed with what they’re about to say... In case they don’t get away with it right?
3. Prolonged Pause
If you ask them a direct and straightforward question like ‘Where were you last night?’ or ‘Were you with so and so on Sunday?’ and a long pause comes before response then there’s trouble in paradise. Long pause = thinking of and alternative story/nervous to respond with the lie.
4. Can’t reverse the story
If you’re there when something happens you’ll be able to act out the story no problem, in detail... what if you’ve made it up on the spot? If someone tells a tale in a,b,c,d,e ask them to do e,d,c,b,a (be slick about it though). You’ll see where they mess up and get an idea if it’s truth.
5. Big Buts and they cannot Lie
‘You’ll never believe this, but….’
‘I know you’ll find this strange,but...’
Chances are whatever comes next is the fib... Similarly to the long pause, they’re pulling together a false story double time.
6. Prolonged Gaze
Most people know that it’s an insecurity when you can’t look someone in the eye. This works against them when they look at you directly for too long. It’s shows they’re trying to convince you of something you wouldn’t normally believe and prove they have nothing to hide, clever.
7. Can’t Quite Adapt…
Similarly to being unable to reverse the story if you disprove an element of their story or call them out in any way and they refuse to reason with it ,then you can be pretty sure the rest is poxy too.
8. Get Handsy
They put their hand to their throat?They’re nervous you’ll respond with a throttle.Put their hand to their mouth?To block what’s about to come out.Rub their forehead?A typical stress signal.
9. The Duchenne Smile
Approx 90% of people cannot achieve a genuine smile when it’s put on (this is Duchenne).Those cheesy grins in photos are easy enough to spot and ditto when someone’s trying to get off the hook for something they feel guilty about.
10. Legs say Lots
If you’re seated during story time see if they kick a chair or table leg,showing frustration.Or perhaps wrap their legs around a chair leg,which is an insecurity gesture.These could be more signs to look out for.
I’m not saying interrogate your other half or best friend,and if they rub their nose during a chat it’s not something you should be questioning. Though these traits when combined with each other can help you discover the truth