19 Irish Names That Only Old Men Have Now

19 Irish Names That Only Old Men Have Now

Okay ladies you've had your turn. Now its time to name and shame the most old man names going. Enjoy.


Maurice is a 80-year-old bachelor who lives in the back arse of nowhere. He still milks the cows by himself, every morning.

2. Mossy

Mossy is a lifetime subscriber to Ireland's Own and The Farmer's Journal. He only watches the Late Late so he can give out about it the next day.

3. Dermot

Dermot is a big property developer. Retired now, he did very well in the 'boom times'.


4. Fergus

Is the village 'character'. This means he sits on the bench outside the pub shouting obscenities.

5. Melvin

I'm convinced there aren't any Melvins left. They're extinct. Prove me wrong.

6. Patrick/Paddy/Pat/Padraig/Peadar/Pauric

Goes to mass every day even though he can't hear for shite.


7. Raymond

Sits at the bar every Friday with a book and a pint. Very quiet, Raymond.

8. Wesley

Wesley still golfs three times a week. It takes him five hours to complete one round, and that's with a buggy.

9. PJ

PJ has road frontage. And no last name.


10. Willie

Willie has had every joint in his body replaced by metal. And he's still sore.

11. Malachy

Malachy plays a starring role in the local musical every year. It's his only respite from his battle axe wife Joan. They sleep in separate beds.

12. Seamus

Seamus is the most talkative man in the nursing home. Has been known to hijack conversations of other visitors in order to go on rambling nonsensical anecdotes about the time the pope visited in 1979.


13. Austin

Austin rings Joe Duffy every day. He always gets the number wrong too.

14. Ger

Ger is the dullest man in the world. He only ever talks about the weather. No one visits Ger.

15. Art

Art is a bingo hotshot. He's also voting no in the repeal referendum.


16. Desmond

Desmond is your local priest. His sermons go for the guts of an hour.

17. Eamonn

Has lost all of the teeth out of his head and still refuses to get dentures. Loves country music.

18. Hugh

Hugh lives in a mansion with his wife Deborah. It's a loveless marriage.

19. Pearse

Pearse is a big racist. But he's going on 90 so we let him away with it.


See Also: A Comprehensive List Of Old Woman Names

CollegeTimes Staff
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