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Man Installs 'Chocolate Safe' In Fridge To Stop His Girlfriend Stealing His Snacks

Man Installs 'Chocolate Safe' In Fridge To Stop His Girlfriend Stealing His Snacks

I think we can all agree that all healthy relationships eventually reach a point where you are installing locks around the home to prevent your partner from accessing rudimentary household facilities. I am no relationship therapist, I have never claimed to be, nor will I ever claim to be - I am a purveyor of irreverent online media content - but I feel confident in saying that arriving at this point signifies an important milestone in any relationship.

It is an important step in the sense that, if a relationship can survive such an evidently harrowing breakdown in communication, it is destined to ultimately succeed.

This is the situation which one 'Stacey Lowe' has found herself in. She describes in a Facbeook post, how, upon returning home from work, she found that her fiancé and the co-raiser of a child they'd spawned together, had installed a safe in their fridge to ensure that she no longer had unrestricted access to his snacks.

Who among us could say that we would not do the same thing. Who can honestly, hand on heart, say that we would in any way hesitate - while browsing through the various types of fridge-specific safes on some specialist website - about the potential fallout such a purchase might have on the overall wellbeing of a relationship. We know where our priorities lie, it is only the naive optimists who would place the happiness of their life-partner above what truly matters: the acquisition and controlled curation of a range of sweets which are explicitily for personal consumption.

She writes in the post, "So this is what it has come too! You buy a house together, have a child together, get engaged, are planning a wedding and doing your house up and this happens! Dave goes and buys a fuckin fridge safe because he's an arsehole and doesn't want to share his chocolate with me anymore! Anyone want him? Surely this is breakup material right?! Prick!".

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This whole thing seems especially galling given that it appears to be an entirely tokenistic gesture. What person, what, even semi-determind thief would find themselves unable to gain access to a flimsy perspex box. If she wanted the sweets she could have them, her fiancé however felt he needed some gesture to exhibit just how much he didn't want her to have them.

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Rory McNab

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