Phrases That Mean Something Totally Different On A Night Out

It's a proven fact that you will, on average, speak roughly four hundred minutes of complete shite during a typical night out. This figure is in no way exaggerated whatsoever. It's not even really our fault to be honest, ninety percent of the time the alcohol is moulding our brain in a soft, candyfloss, haven. There are many, many phrases that mean something totally different on a night out, so read on to see how much shite you talk. At the very least it'll spare your friends the insufferable pain of listening to you for any longer than is totally necessary. They are very welcome.

1) "I'll only take twenty minutes to get ready."

Add approximately ninety minutes to this and you have yourself a pretty accurate time frame.

2) "We're aiming to be in town for around ten."

We're aiming to be in town for around 11.30pm, all going well.

3) "I think we should go soon."

I have decided that we are going very soon and if you don't like it, then just look at all of the fucks I give.

4) "I'm taking it easy tonight, I have work in the morning."

Realistically, I know I should take it easy tonight as I have work in the morning, but this is very unlikely to happen.

5) "No, I'm not getting very dressed up."

I'm going all out with my look tonight and yes, it is very likely that I will outshine you. Deal with it.

6) "Oh no, it's raining."

Fuckitty, fuck, fuck. It's raining. There goes my silky, smooth hair. Oh hello there afro.

7) "Taxi in? €2 each?"

Taxi in? €5 each? I haven't a damn hope in hell of waiting for a bus. Soz.

8) "Cannot believe I was asked for ID."

I've still fucking got it baby. YAY.

9) "Do you mind if I sit here?"

Could you move your bag please? The seat is personally calling my arse.

10) "Were you on holidays? Great colour."

How much Sally have you USED girl? You is oraaaaaaaaannnnnnngeeeee.

11) "No, I'm ok for this round thanks. I'm pretty broke."

I'm pretty broke so if you'd like to buy me a drink, then I'll just be sitting here looking coy. Thanks.

12) "Would it be really slutty if I brought that babe at the bar home?"

I have already resigned myself to the fact that bringing said babe home is what is going to happen tonight, but just to be sure, I'm seeking your approval.