Problems All Perpetually Cold People Will Understand

I love the warmth but, for me, it's something only blankets, heaters, open fires and warm cuddles can provide. Left to my own devices, I am sure I would freeze to death. I don't even think I'm being dramatic. Here are some problems my fellow perpetually cold companions will understand...

1) Texting is impossible sometimes because your hands are completely numb.

2) You always wear an extra layer of clothing... but still, the cold gets in.

3) You constantly have a mug of tea or coffee in your hands, not for drinking, for keeping your hands warm.

4) One disadvantage of being single is that you don't have someone else's hands to hold and keep you warm.

5) You nap a lot - not to catch up on sleep, but as an excuse to cover yourself in blankets.

6) Snow holidays are not holidays, they are torture. A holiday means beaches and sunbathing.

7) You wear sweatshirts to bed. Over your PJs. With fluffy socks.

8) Sometimes, you wear two pairs of socks, just to make sure your toes don't fall off from frostbite.

9) Tights do not cut it (unless you wear them under jeans), you wear leggings under dresses/shorts/skirts instead.

10) Alcohol is great for two reasons: 1) It lowers your inhibitions and enables you to have a great time and 2) it warms you up. Pass the fire whiskey, please!

11) Sometimes, getting out of bed in the morning makes you want to cry at the injustice of life.

12) Sometimes you'll forgo a shower because it's too damn cold in the bathroom. Dry shampoo and extra deodorant it is!

13) Often you won't go pee because the idea of sitting down on the freezing cold toilet seat is beyond daunting.

14) When you don't have a cuddle-buddy in bed, you use at least two hot-water bottles. This in addition to the extra PJ layers.

15) You have numerous blankets of various comfiness.

16) Salad just doesn't cut it at lunch, because it's cold. You need soup to warm you up.


17) When you do get lucky, the person you're with jumps when you touch them. "Your hands are so cold!"

18) When the radiator or heater is on, you literally sit on top of it... and it's still not warm enough.

19) You never go to bed with wet hair, or you could wake up with icicles and a sniffly nose.

20) Getting into bed is terrifying. You'd sooner cuddle with a blanket in front of the radiator, but you know you just have to brave it. It will be warmer... eventually.

21) Tiles and uncarpeted wooden floors are the absolute worst. Slippers are the absolute best.

Orlaith Costello
Article written by
Orlaith is a Creative Writing graduate from NUI Galway. Hailing from the low lying fields of Athenry, or at least what’s left of the low lying fields. She enjoys the internet as a means of living vicariously through others from the safe confines of her own bed. She will initiate a dance off after at least two drinks on any given night out.

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