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How to Procrastinate Like A Pro

How to Procrastinate Like A Pro

It's that time of year again; college lectures have finished up and the dreaded exams are here. That pile of work you've been meaning to get around to is piling up even higher and you finally decide that today is the day... Or is it... Here are some things which I personally have done to procrastinate over the last few days... College work has never been less appealing.

 

1) Sleeping.

You have a few days extra at home before you have to make the trek back to college, and everyone knows that no bed is as comfortable as your bed at home.

 

2) Catching up on your favourite shows.

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Fresh Meat, The Only Way Is Essex, any of the CSI's, Workaholics, Girls... I've even watched some pretty gruesome Embarrassing Bodies to avoid studying.

 

3) Painting your nails.

You may never usually bother with nail polish, but now you do, any colour, every colour, they all need to be tried out, now.

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4) Hairstyles

Maybe you should try a new cut? A new style? A new colour? What would suit me though? Queue hours of internet searching and hours of straightening/curling/whatever to avoid the books.

 

5) Shopping.

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Online and most importantly delivered to your college address. That way the mother wont know you've been wasting hours online choosing which pair of shoes will go with your new (in-the-post-and-oh-so-overpriced) dress, she'll think you're doing college work. She's happy, you're happy. Win win.

 

6) Exercising.

Never have you been so enthusiastic about walking the dog. The routes you choose are longer than usual. Sure a good two hour stroll wont do the tiny dogs really tiny legs any harm.

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7) Updating the iPod/Listening to music

Illegally downloading tonnes of tracks to get your pre-drinks playlist ready for summer. Sure it doesn't even take that long!

 

8) Dancing.

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Strongly associated to number 7). Slap on the guilty pleasures playlist (Backstreet Boys essential) and work it girl!

 

 

9) Playing an instrument.

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Sure the parents will only be delighted that you've taken an interest in the violin after the years of lessons they forced you to take.

 

10) Trying out new make-up.

This can range from buying new makeup brands and products to applying your eyeshadow and liquid eyeliner 13 times until it is perfect, even though you aren't leaving the house today (unless engaging in number 6)), your skin ends up raw and agitated from re-applying and removing said make up, and the heavy makeup makes you look a bit like a prostitute.

 

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11) CollegeTimes

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They write about college, you're in college, sure it's educational really... Right?

 

12) Tea

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A) Make a cup of tea

B) Drink half of the cup of tea

C) Forget about said cup of tea

D) Realize twenty to thirty minutes later that  said cup of tea has gone cold

E) Suddenly have out of control craving for tea, see step A), repeat process.

 

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13) Eating.

I don't know if it's boredom or if learning makes you hungry, maybe it's Mammy's delicious home cooked meals but seriously, this has got to stop. Food baby alert.

 

14) Holidays

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Search several destinations, package deals, research temperatures, what clubs are good, what world famous DJs are playing when you're going to be there, what the local food and drinks are, what activities there are to do in the surrounding areas, read reviews, and most importantly how the cheap drink is. Girls on tour 2k14! This gives you a valid reason to engage in points 3) 4) 5) and 7). Ultimate time wasting.

 

15) Bucket list.

One of those things you've wanted to do for years but have never really had the time, the money, or the balls to go for it? Well, now is obviously the perfect time to do it/research it/book it.

 

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16) Instagram/Twitter/Facebook/Whatever

Creep hard or go home. Now is definitely the most appropriate time to research the lives of all those people you went to primary school with. that's definitely beneficial...

 

17) Tinder

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"It's a match!" A good confidence booster to set you up for a day of study! Or a day of talking to people that you think are hot who also think that you're hot... Go you!

 

18) News

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Now I'm not talking getting the latest gossip on who shifted who at the weekend or who's riding the town bike these days, that's what number 16) is for, I'm talking reading the newspaper, watching the Six:One on RTÉ, reading up on the upcoming elections or simply trawling the VICE website. Hours later and you're still reading... Is the whole day gone already? Shit.

 

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19) Catch-ups.

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Call your mates and get the rundown on their life, ranging from what happened since you last saw them to what they had for lunch.

 

20) Gigs.

Research every festival that's happening this summer, regardless of what country they're being held in.

 

21) Panic

Last, but most definitely not least. Relaaaaaaaxxx, sure it'll be graaaaaaaand!

Sandra Carty
Article written by
Currently bumming it, fresh outta college, slowly and reluctantly becoming an adult while trying to decide what to do with the rest of my life. I like drinking and interpretive dance, preferably in that order.

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