We petite woman have a few more challenges in life; a lot of things are out of our reach, literally, and people seem to assume that we are children even in adulthood. What doesn't make this easier is having the same questions asked us to us again and again. Whether in the office or in the smoking area, these are the questions short girls are sick of hearing.
1. "Can I pick you up?"
Of course, we love being constantly picked up and swung around by our peers and random drunken strangers. It's our favourite past time in fact. Most people think when they ask this to a short girl that this will be the answer, to their surprise we're a bit sick of being picked up. But we appreciate it that you asked instead of just running up and doing it. That results in a lot of kicking.
2. "How old are you?"
I'm definitely not 12 anyway. We all feel a bit patronised when someone assumes that because we are under 5ft 3" that we're a little younger. Realistically, we know we look younger. But this means we can pay child fare for everything and get away with mischief because we're cute.
3. "How are you so small?"
There's always an emphasis on the "small". My best bet is genetics. People always assume that we have a really good reason for being short, like a curse was put upon our Mothers during pregnancy, or that we didn't complete some mystical quest which would result in us being an average height. We're small for the same reason that tall people are tall.
4. "Do you have to shop in the Kids section?"
No. There are clothes that are in our size, in the petite section. Despite what you may think, I have in fact grown out of my christening gown a good few years ago. I don't want to talk about how it's so difficult to find jeans that have just the right length or convince you that I can actually walk with tiny feet.
5. "How can you eat so much?"
Because I love food. People are always surprised at how much a petite girl can put away. This seems to be fairly common among the petite community. We can get copious amount of food without blowing up. And it's fucking fantastic.
6. "Could you fit in there? How bout in there?"
We appreciate your curiosity, and we probably wonder if we could fit in the washing machine too. But even short people have bones and a spine which prevents us from bending like play doh. It's almost like we're just smaller human beings.
7. "Do you want me to put you on my shoulders?"
Usually asked at gigs, this is a really nice gesture. We do appreciate the fact that you're looking out for us and know that it's almost impossible for us to see the gig if not at the very front or the very back.
8. "Can I lean on you?"
Get the fuck off me. After a good few years of being asked, this gets to us more and more as time goes on. We are not born so people can use us for leaning on.
9. "Can I keep you?"
This is kind of nice, although it's very patronising. We're often seen as the kittens of the human race. People love to pet us and cuddle us, it's kind of weird. But no, no you cannot keep me.