Life

Sh!T Only Fussy Eaters Will Understand

Some people aren't born with the most varied palette and no matter what they end up trying to eat they will always resort back to the same old same old. You might have had sushi before, but for what ever reason you just stick to what you know. Here is the shit only fussy eaters will understand.

21) Eating salad still just tastes like eating leaves

You have tried to eat healthier and made yourself some salads, no matter what, it still ends up tasting like you're eating leaves. You put some sauce on it and mix it in with some ham and tomato, but to no avail. You feel like a koala bear trying to eat salad and it just feels unnatural to you.

20) Your eating habits haven't changed since you were a kid

If anything your eating habits have gotten even worse as you've gotten older. You really try to stay healthy and eat your fruit and veg, but you still have the same reaction to eating broclilli as you did when you were a kid.

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19) You look up the menu of the place you're going to eat and realise there is nothing you like

When you're going to a restaurant you will always have to check the menu to make sure there is something on it you can eat. You don't do fancy, so you're screwed if it's some trendy Moroccan restaurant that only does couscous.

18) You don't react well when someone tells you to try their food

There is a reason you got a burger and chips, it's because that's what you wanted . If you wanted the marinated duck you would have ordered it so stop trying to get me to try your food. You think that putting it in front of my mouth will change my mind, well it won't so stop it.

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17) It's incredibly hard to order food when you're sharing with someone

So you and your friend are a bit strapped for cash (what's new) so you decide to order something then split it. You decide to go for Chinese but all you want is chicken fried rice while they want the peking duck. You're not having any of that so you just decide to get a pizza half and half.

16) People think that you don't like food, but you actually love it

If anything you love it even more because you know what you like and you get such great satisfaction from eating the same thing. Being a fussy eater just means you don't like certain types of food, and to you, nothing can compare to a good Chinese.

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 15) When you try something new and you don't like it, you can't hide your reaction

14) You would describe your favourite kind of food as American

Yeah, as sad as it may be your favourite type of food is American food, whether it's burgers, pizza or fries it just suits you. You went on holiday there once and you couldn't get enough of it. If you could, you would have it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

13) You always keep it simple when you're buying a sandwich

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You usually end up just choosing ham and cheese because it's a lot easier than telling them to  take off everything from a chicken club. People will always give you a strange look when they hear you say no onions, mayonnaise or lettuce, so you just don't bother.

12) You're worried that there will be nothing that you will like when you go on holiday

It's always a big step going abroad because you don't know how to deal with the local cuisine. You might try one or two things, but anything that doesn't resemble food you stay away from. You are just happy when you got to a restaurant that has some old fashioned grub.

11) The only dish you know how to make is an Omelete

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You learned how to make it a while ago and you were really proud of yourself at the time. You haven't expanded it on it since and you love it because it's so quick and easy to make. God forbid you have to make a meal for your girlfriend, that's why you always bring them out for dinner.

10) You always give up too easily and end up ordering a takeaway

So you come home and you feel a bit tired and so instead of putting the effort in, you just decide to go with a takeaway instead. You have stacks of take away menus around the place and always know how to mix things up.

9) The last time you tried to make a proper meal you nearly burnt the house down

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So you watched one cooking show and now you think you can make a roast duck. You did exactly the same as they did, but instead you completely burnt the duck and almost set the house on fire. You've learnt your lesson and from now on you just stick to what you know.

8) You force yourself to try something new and it doesn't work out too well

7) Your parents always give out about what you eat

They were always telling you to eat your vegetables when you were young and now that you're older they always ask you to try something new. No matter what they say they will never get you to eat something because it always sounds like a chore.

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6) When you actually do like something new it's usually your friend who convinces you

Every now and again you come across something that you like that is a little different. It is nothing too out of the ordinary, you're still a fussy eater, it's just you don't mind having a tikka masala every now and again for a change.

5) You always get really annoyed when you get the wrong toppings on your pizza

A normal person wouldn't mind it that much and would still eat it anyway, you have to pick off all of the toppings you don't like so it's just a normal pizza. It's even worse when you take a bite without realising that there is mushrooms in it, because you hate mushrooms, all fussy eaters hate mushrooms, that's an actual rule

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4) You look disgusted at your friend when they eat a three bean salad

You don't understand how something that looks like that could be in any way appetizing.  They seem to eat it all the time, which makes you even more bewildered.

3) You don't understand why anyone would eat something that doesn't taste good

When you see someone eating tofu or quinoa you don't really understand. Why would they eat something that doesn't really have much of a taste. Their argument is always that it's healthy, but you still can't quite wrap your head around it.

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2) When you have dinner at a friend's house you just pretend to like the food

So your friend's parents make dinner for youit's quiche and you hate it so you just pretend that you like it. If you could, you would give it to the dog, but you know that you will get spotted. You just hope that next time it's actually something that you like.

1) At the end of the day you know what you like and wouldn't have it any other way

You might not be that adventurous with your food choice, but at the end of the day, it's up to you what you eat and there is no point in pretending to like something you don't. You really couldn't care less about what people think, they can keep their caviar and Foie Gras and I'll stick to my burger and chips thank you very much.

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Kenneth Fox
Article written by
I'm a musician and a writer, or a writer and a musician, I can't make up my mind, Either way I'm not particularly good at either. A bit of an old fashioned guy, who enjoys the simpler things in life, nothing fancy.

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