The 55 Golden Rules Of Drinking

College students are all about the drinking, whether it be in a pub, club, mate's house or a nearby field there is always somewhere to crack open a few tins and start celebrating, no matter what the reason. It's important to remember, there is a list of rules associated with drinking, a certain etiquette that we must adhere to while drinking... They're not official, but they certainly help with keeping the level of douchebagery down...

1. If you owe someone money, always pay them back in alcohol. 

 

2. Always toast before doing a shot.

 

3. Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast.

 

4. Change your toast at least once a month. Cheers, Salut! Na Zdorovie...

 

5. Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake.

 

6. Buying a strange woman a drink is a good idea. Buying all her drinks is a bad idea.

7. Never borrow more than one cigarette from the same person in one night.

 

8. When the bartender is really busy, resist the powerful urge to order a slightly-dirty, very-dry, in-and-out, super-chilled half-and-half martini with a lemon twist. Limit orders to beer and shots.

 

9. Get the bartender's attention with eye contact and a smile.

 

10. Do not make eye contact with the bartender if you do not want a drink.

11. Unacceptable things to say after doing a shot:  I hate shots. It’s coming back up.

 

12. Never, ever tell a bartender he made your drink too strong.

 

13. If he makes it too weak, order a double next time. He'll get the message.

 

14. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she does not like you...

 

15. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still might not like you.

 

16. If she buys you a drink, she likes you.

 

17. If someone offers to buy you a drink, do not upgrade your preference.

 

18. Always have a corkscrew in your house.

 

19. If you don't have a corkscrew, push the cork down into the bottle with a pen.

 

20. Drink one girly drink in public and you will forever be known as the guy who drinks girly drinks.

 

21. Our parents were (are possibly not anymore) better drinkers than we are.

 

22. Never talk to someone in the restroom unless you're doing the same thing—urinating, waiting in line or washing your hands.

 

23. Girls hang out, apply make-up, and have long talks in the bathroom. Men do not.

 

24. After your sixth drink, do not look at yourself in the mirror. It will shake your confidence.

 

25. It is only permissible to shout 'woo00!' if you are doing a shot with four or more people.

 

26. If there is a DJ, you can request a song only once per night. If he doesn't play it within half an hour, do not approach him again. If he does play it, do not approach him again.

 

27. Learn how to make a rose out of a bar napkin. You'll be surprised how well it works.

 

28. If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to drink in a bar. Go to the liquor store.

 

29. If you owe someone twenty euro or less, you may pay them back in beer.

 

30. Never complain about the quality or brand of a free drink.

 

31. If you have been roommates with someone more than six months, you may drink all their beer, even if it's hidden, as long as you leave them one.

 

32. You can never have a shot of their whiskey without asking.

 

33. The only thing that tastes better than free booze is stolen booze.

 

34. If you bring Tuborg to a party, you must drink at least two cans before you start drinking the nice stuff.

 

35. Learn to appreciate hangovers. If it was all good times everyone would be doing it.

 

36. If you ever feel depressed, get out a cocktail guide and browse through all the drinks you’ve never tried.

 

37. Try one new drink every week.

 

38. If you are the bar's sole customer, you are obliged to make small talk with the bartender until he stops acknowledging you. Then you're off the hook. The same goes for him.

 

39. Never tip with coins that have touched you. If your change is $1.50, you can tellthe barmaid to keep the change, but once she has handed it to you, you cannot give it back. 

 

40. You can tell how hard a drinker someone is by how close they keep their drink to their mouth.

41. Being drunk is feeling sophisticated without being able to say it.

 

42. It's okay to drink alone.

 

43. After three drinks, you will forget a woman's name two seconds after she tells you. The rest of the night you will call her “baby” or “darling”.

44. Men don't drink from straws. 

 

45. If you do a shot, finish it. If you don't plan to finish it, don't accept it.

 

46. Your song will always come on as you're leaving.

47. Never lie in a bar. You may, however, grossly exaggerate and lean.

 

48. If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.

49. Screaming, “Someone buy me a drink!” has never worked.

 

50. Fighting an extremely drunk person when you are sober is hilarious.

 

51. If you are broke and a friend is “spotting you”, you must laugh at all his jokes and be his wingman.

52. If there is a queue for the bar, get your fucking drink and move on

 

53. If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours.

 

54. If you hesitate more than three seconds after the bartender looks at you, you do not deserve a drink.

55. Anyone with three or more drinks in his hands has the right of way.