You're so sick of your friends telling you to "slow down" or that "six shots is enough" but what do they even know? I'm a mature drinker and I know how much I can handle. At least I'm pretty sure I do... Here are some signs you might want to take a break from the booze for a while. Or forever.
1) Your hangovers are a two-day thing.
Some weeks you're just in a permanently hungover state 24/7 so it's all the same feelings every morning.
2) You regularly sacrifice your taxi money for another shot.
Walking home isn't the worst thing in the world. Fresh air is always good for you anyway.
3) You're always the first one to start pre-drinking.
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Someone has to get the crowd going, right? Right?
4) And you're always the last one to stop.
Your nickname is "Chug" at this stage.
5) It pains you to throw away leftover drink.
Sometimes, when there's no-one in the kitchen in the morning, you get an empty bottle and pour the ends of all the leftover vodka into it and stash it away for the next night out. Mwa-ha-ha.
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6) The Fear is something you experience every morning after.
You're at the stage where not knowing doesn't even concern you anymore. In fact, it's probably better if you don't know.
7) Most nights end with you crying or punching someone.
Or both. Actually, it's usually both. Always. It's always both.
8) Bouncers are so used to not letting you in that they know you by name.
"Who's the one falling around back there in the queue? Oh, it's just Laura again."
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9) You send several apologetic texts to friends after every night out.
It's always the same three so you just send them all the same text now.
10) People constantly tell you to "pace yourself".
Fuck off.
11) You bring your debit card out instead of cash.
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It's handier and not as bad to lose. I think...
12) You have no concept of what "a few casual ones" means.
It's all or nothing with me, bruh.
13) You're quite happy to drink alone.
Sometimes you're your own best friend, and that's not a bad thing.
14) Going to bed sober is a distant memory.
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And black outs are pretty standard.
15) Your friends have to remind you how many guys you were with in the club.
Again, probably something else you'd gladly not remember the next day.
16) You've smashed at least three iPhones.
And two of them weren't even yours.
