If you went to an Irish primary school, the following would have entertained you at some stage or another.
1) When A Dog Managed To Make His Way In
It didn't happen too often but when a dog was found scurrying around the school, everybody would lose their shit. Lessons came to a temporary halt as attempts would be made to get the animal off the premises.
2) When A TV Trolley Was Wheeled Into The Classroom
The sound of the wheels rolling erupted in a buzz of 30 students. There'd be no more studying for the next while with something on the box to entertain everyone. It might be a documentary on the rise and fall of Stalin but it was better than nothing sure.
3) When That One Prick Threatened To Tell
There was always that one pupil that threatened to rat you out to the teacher. Your heart would be in your mouth as they'd raise their hand and smugly ask if they could go to the toilet.
4) When Sex Talks Made You Cringe
The sixth classers would often be subjected to the dreaded sex ed talk - via DVD or video. This caused a barrage of red faces and sly sniggers. 'And then the man puts his penis...' Stop talking, stop talking now.
5) When You Asked To Use The Toilet
An bhfuil cead agam dul go dtí an leithreas. It just rolled off the tongue didn't it? A solid saying and pretty much where my Irish vocabulary begins and ends.
6) When Altar Servers Got A Get Out Of Jail-Free Card
If you were one of the few pupils who did some altar-serving on the side, you'll remember getting to leave school during the day if a funeral luckily came your way. Cue lots of high fiving and jealous stares.
7) When The Silage Was On
'Can't come into school today, the silage is on.' You didn't actually do anything when the silage is on but it still warranted your presence.
8) When You Went On The School Tour
It was the biggie of the year in fairness. Where would you be going? (Glenroe farm). What treats would you bring for the journey? A bag of banshee bones, a taz bar and a ten penny mix. Cue chimes of 'Are we there yet?'