UCD students don't have much to complain about. We have a great college, great nights out and many fellow scholars. But there are things we don't want to hear. Things that will simply make out spines shiver in fear. You could be having a great day in college, you have made all your classes and you have impressed the teacher in your tutorial, nothing will bring down your day. Well, except these 16 Things UCD Students Don't Want To Hear. People who deliver these messages deserve a filthy look and, if necessary, the cold shoulder. Avoid situations where these sayings may occur and make the most of all the time you have left. Remember UCD is a place of dreams and glory. You deserve nothing but the best.
1) "Have you sorted out your credits?"
No, I haven't. The queue is too long at the programmes office and anytime I get to the top they're closing. This is a stressful enough time without you annoying me about it. I am trying to sort it out.
2) "Registration is tomorrow"
There is nothing more stressful than registration. The confusion and lack of description is something that only us UCD students understand. It is a horrible time and if you don't cry at lease three times during the process, I bow to you. You are as hard as nails.
3) "The Readers queue is massive"
Why oh why? All I want is my €5 deal with a sweet chili chicken wrap and a bottle of sparkling water. Is this so much to ask? Why is the queue so long and frightening.
4) "There's no seats"
So what am I meant to do? Sit on the floor for lunch? Sit on the floor for this lecture? I am so tired and want to go home. You are making it very hard for me to stay.
5) "These books were due back last week we will have to fine you for that?"
Ah here now, you should just be happy I took them out in the first place. I am so broke this is the last thing I need right now. I actually hate you.
6) "So the quiz is today then"
Are you trying to give me a heart attack? A word of warning would have been nice from a fellow classmate. Yes, I may have been hungover for last weeks class but someone should have helped me out here.
7) "There are no Sour Skittles left"
You think after all this time, the shops in UCD would just order in extra Skittles. Rather than just disappoint students everyday. This is always as shocking and upsetting as the first time it happened.
8) "State of you last night"
You can tell I'm hungover. You can tell I am having the worst day. Is this really necessary? Also, is it acceptable to wear sunglasses inside the buildings? No? Didn't think so...
9) "Your assignment will be based off campus"
Sounds bloody fantastic, this is all I need. To race half way across Dublin to college everyday. As if it isn't hard enough to get up in the mornings.
10) "They were giving out free donuts in the Science building...but you missed them"
Call me crazy but there really should be a viral text that goes round to let people know when free food is on campus. Even free stuff in general. All must be notified. Otherwise it is extremely unfair.
11) "Oh your class has been switched to the building on the other side of campus. Did no one tell you?"
No, they didn't and I am tired and I don't want to walk anymore. I am staying put and the class has to come to me. Yes, I'm coming...
12) "Did you see the guy jump into the lake?"
Oh for God's sake, I missed that again. Why do I always miss all of the exciting aspects of college. Why oh why?
13) "It's raining"
I have no umbrella or hood. This walk home is going to be positively superb.
14) "That'll be a €20 fine for that bottle of coke"
Oh for the love of God, Libro cop is on the loose. Why did he have to see it? Now I am €20 poorer and it'll be a struggle to go out tonight.
15) "I forgot my lunch money"
I feel sorry for you and I wish I could do something but I am very broke at the moment and this roll will have to be my lunch and half my dinner. I appreciate this is tough for you but I cannot help.
16) "You there in the back row. Do you know the answer?"
Oh no, everyone is watching. I don't know the answer. What do I say? What do I do? I am severely screwed now. Run, run like the wind.