You know what I am referring to. That friend in college who is so healthy, always exercising and quite frankly being annoying about your not so healthy lifestyle. Yeah? Are they recking your head today? Exercise whenever you feel like it but there is a certain characteristic that Irish people have like no other country. This characteristic makes us feel quite territorial towards our food. And, if you have sat down after a long morning in the library, the last thing you want is someone telling you how fattening your chicken fillet roll is. This just really isn't on. Do your own thing, be healthy, be a master of your own body but don't kill me for having a pack of Meanies. They are delicious and I love them. Your college days are a sensitive time. You are either hungover, drunk, emotional, studious or wild. And, none of these emotions can be rectified without a meal with a bit of grease. I am not condoning unhealthy eating, I am simply not happy about those food commentators out there. If you have a friend like this read on. If you don't have a friend like this, I'm sorry to tell you, but you are that friend. Here are a few reasons Why Healthy Eaters Are So Annoying.
1) Food Commentary
"That is so bad for you!.' "Do you know how much calories are in that?" "Oh God I just could not eat that." "Ohhh that's what your having for lunch...good for you!." Leave now or forever feel my wrath.
Some of these healthy eaters, as previously discussed, will comment on your food. Another fun aspect is that they sometimes stare at you when you are eating. There is nothing more off putting and, quite frankly, it's a bit scary.
3) The Yo Yo Effect
You could have a Yo Yo dieter healthy eater on your hands. One minute it's "oh I've lost 10 pounds", the next minute it's "I've gained a stone." Call me unobservant but I really haven't noticed and now I have to comfort you for something I cannot see.
4) The Gloating
"I see you are having a breakfast roll there. Oh what sauce is on it? Relish, oh I see. I'd never eat something like that. It makes me ill just looking at it. Sure you know I don't eat meat now. The weight is flying off me." I love this breakfast roll and you have just ruined my morning.
5) The Moaning Myrtle
The healthy eater is usually high on life basking in their healthy living and making others jealous. But, sometimes when they have forgotten to eat a meal, or instead eat some junk food, the temper comes out. There is no stopping this. You will have to just let it all unfold before your very eyes.
6) The Confusing Language
Gluten free? Kale? Quinoa? By God what does this all mean? Stop it now. I feel stupid and, if I'm honest, like a fat, bloated junk fiend.
7) The Phony
There is always that healthy eater phony out there. You may be friends with them or have never come across such a rare breed. They will comment on your food, suggest you eat differently but in fact they eat just as much, if not more, unhealthy food as you do. Phony, be gone.
8) The Gym Addict
There is nothing better in college than being someone who embraces the gym and loves it. These girls and guys avoid the College tonne and have a healthy glow. But, what would bother fellow students is if they make a song and a dance when they go. No need for a Facebook check-in or a tweet. Do your own thing and don't expect us to clap until the cows come home each time you head to the gym.
9) The Juice Detoxer
Enough of the pictures of that green gush that is making us queasy. And, yes, fair play for doing it, but a blow by blow account is not necessary. The constant Twitter updates and Instagram posts are getting a bit annoying now.
10) The Full Fat Drinks Objective
"I don't understand why people drink full fat drinks. That is something I will never understand. How could you do that?." It's none of your business and it is because I prefer the taste. Thank you for that.