You Know You're In College When...

If you think college is the best time of your life... You're right. When else in your life can you sleep in till ridiculous o' clock and then get up, go drinking and stay out 'til the following day, only to sleep in again. Make the most of the lie ins because they are in short supply when you graduate....


School started before 8am, but now anything before midday is considered "too early".

You have more alcohol than food in your fridge/house/body.


Weekends start on Thursday / Wednesday (Hooray for Arts).

6am is when you go to sleep, not when you wake up (that's 6pm).


You know many different ways to cook beans on toast.


The student centre gives out free condoms, and you take as many as you can…you know,  just in case (I still have them in my wallet).

Instead of falling asleep in class, you just stay in bed.



You know how late McDonald’s / your local Chinese is open until.

You don’t even know what month it is.

You can't remember the last time you washed your car (because it's too difficult to wash a bus)


You check Facebook more than 12 times a day.

You're sending drunk texts / receiving booty calls on a Tuesday.


You talk about drinking and scoring like their some kind of sport.


Sometimes when you wake up you have no idea where or who you are.


Your primary news sources are CollegeTimes and your Facebook news feed.


You open a beer at 10 am, your roommate looks at you concerned, then asks you if there’s more.


The number of meals per day falls to two, sometimes just one (most of the time it's just one).


Your bins are overflowing but your bank account isn’t.

You wear the same jeans for 13 14 days without washing them.

Your breakfast consists of Redbull / Coffee and a smoke... altho anything with caffeine will do.


A Euro in the couch is like finding gold.

You live in a house with three couches, none of which match.



You try to study but seem to procrastinate by eating, going to study breaks, talking to people, reading CollegeTimes... anything but study really.

You talk to your housemates on whatsapp / Facebook when you’re both home, or in the same room as each other.


You ask people what YOU did last night.


You see people you know you’ve met but can never remember their names or how you know them.

You've traveled home with a large bags of dirty clothes for your mum to clean.


You throw out bowls and plates because you don't feel like washing them.


Visits home depend on how much money you have for petrol.


You spend your time calculating exactly  how much percent you need / already have going into an exam.

You stay up late to finish an assignment then sleep through the class in which it was due.


You've paid for the bus in 1c and 2c coins.


You never realised so many people are smarter than you.


You never realised so many people are dumber than you.

You craft ways to make any game into a drinking game.


You meet the type of people you thought only existed in movies.



Printers break down only when you desperately need them.

Anything can be cooked in a microwave.


Hoodies and sweatpants become the norm - jeans are considered "too dressy" on certain occasions...

A canceled class is almost as exciting as Christmas and as rare too.


Your teachers swear in class and no one cares.


Showers become more of an issue.

Class sizes doubles around exam time.



You resent the older mature students for wanting to learn things, until final year of course.


You steal dishes and pint glasses from anywhere.



You no longer find it uncool to take naps. In fact, you quite enjoy them.


You set your clock 5-10 minutes ahead so you can potentially make it to class on time.


You have numbers in your phone with names like “hottie 14” and “Julie 3.”

The food in your fridge may or may not be older than your little brother.


You finish reading this and wonder how you can procrastinate next.


Shane Johnston
Article written by
Editor for CollegeTimes, UCD graduate and music lover. [email protected]

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