Life 101

How To Survive The 12 Pubs Of Christmas

How To Survive The 12 Pubs Of Christmas

The 12 Pubs of Christmas has become an integral part of the holiday season in Ireland in recent years.

It involves putting on your ugliest Christmas jumper and parading around the streets like drunken idiots attempting to have a drink in a grand total of 12 pubs. As we all know, no one has ever actually made it to 12 pubs, as to do so would result in numerous ambulances being called.

If you've decided to take the plunge to get obliterated this year, we've created a cheat sheet to help you get through the whole ordeal. In true fashion, there's 12 steps to get you through each leg of the journey.

1. Pub one

Just have one drink, excitement may get the better of you but don't do that shot – have some will power.

2. Pub two

Things are going well, everyone is chatting and the rules have begun. If you drink with your right hand you have to skull your drink but it's fine you've only had two.

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3. Pub three

Try your best not to engage in anti social behaviour aka doing handstands in the pub, it won't go down well.

4. Pub four

After four drinks, you're starting to feel tipsy and those drinking games start to appeal but try and resist this is an integral time.

5. Pub five

You've knocked back your pint within the first five minutes of the pub –  you're drunk. You know the pub you're in but you're probably starting to chat shite. From here there are no tips just the reality of the night.

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6. Pub six

You're starting to slur your words and can't really remember the walk to the pub. You're fully engaging in sing-a-longs and are having a whale of a time.

7. Pub seven

Now, you have no idea what pub you're in, you're on top of the bar singing 'All I Want For Christmas Is You' and you can't see your own hand properly.

8. Pub eight

You somehow made it to the pub, bravo to that, you had to do a tactical puke in the smoking area, you can't remember what age you are and the bouncer kicks you out.

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9. Pub nine

You somehow manage to make it the the next pub on the list, you've lost all the friends you went there with, and now you're walking around in your feet, crying to a random lad over how alone you are.

10. Pub ten

You've ended up in Coppers, you're attempting to dance with the lad whom you had previously confided in about your loss of mates. You've gotten sick but not in a tactical way and KO in a chair in the corner.

11. Pub eleven

There is no pub eleven because you're in the chipper attempting to eat curry chips while holding down the puke that's rising up your esophagus.

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12. Pub twelve

You've made it home in a taxi somehow, you KO on your kitchen table and wake up the next morning to find one of your shoes missing, your purse is nowhere to be seen and the fear has never been so real in your whole life.

 

Also Read: Christmas Presents For Loved Ones Under €30

 

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Ciara Finnegan

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