In the best-selling fiction novel of all time, the Bible, there is a scintillating passage that describes the main antagonist, God, being so livid with how things are panning out on the world that he decides to do everyone over with a flood. While not too much information is given as to the sort of tawdry filth that was going on that irked god to such a degree that he was willing to kill almost living organism on earth, I think it lies outside the purview of this ostensibly weather-based article to speculate too wildly on the sort of stuff that was going on, but needless to say I'm assuming it involved some pretty unsavoury carry on with people's bums.
All that is to say that it is raining heavily in Ireland at the moment. While the amount of rain we're receiving may fall some way short of that required to send everyone scurrying to build a slatted wooden ark, it is still sizeable enough that Met Éireann have deemed it necessary to issue a yellow weather warning for the majority of the country.
Is this to imply that we are currently committing some wrong that is irritating this 'god' fellow to an extent that he's willing to yet again some heavy rain, but no so egregious that he deems it necessary to drown all living things? If so, what could this supposed infraction be? Has one of the ten commandments been broken? Has there been some absolute so-and-so going around out their coveting their neighbour's oxen with barely concealed abandon - coveting every bit of the mothers, from tail to hoof? Or perhaps it is because people in Kerry have apparently started deifying a cabinet that features a vague resemblance of the Virgin Mary? Given that it seems like the south-west of the country is set to be the worst affected this does seem the most likely possibility.
They have issued a warning, valid until midnight tonight for 18 counties. While the Eastern and Northern parts of the country seem to be largely spared from this warning, as someone currently, residing in Dublin, it is - and I can't put too fine a point on this - raining quite hard.
Rainfall warning update
Status Yellow - Rainfall warning for Munster, Connacht, Carlow, Kilkenny, Laois, Longford, Wexford, Offaly and Westmeath.
Valid: Sun 13 Oct 2019 23:00 to Mon 14 Oct 2019 23:59 pic.twitter.com/y4dEhzoit0
— Met Éireann (@MetEireann) October 13, 2019
So brace yourselves people, for a day of weather that is the result of an angry and vengeful god - or that is perfectly explainable through objective meteorological phenomena.