So you've been strolling through college, riding, shifting and drifting with every suitable companion that comes along. For one reason or another they run their course and eventually burn out. But alas! You have met someone who seems to have great, 'meet the mammy' potential. Everything has been going really well and in due course things have started to get a little bit more serious. All of a sudden, everything that was going great has now stopped in their tracks or he has started to see flaws in everything you do together. No he's not simply getting cold feet or scared because you are so much better then him and he can't figure out why he deserves you. Realistically, who is that special? He's simply a commitment-phobe. Here are a few signs you're dating a commitment-phobic douchebag so you can see the signs before he's left you for the next big thing. I'm not bitter at all... I swear.
1. Never Introduces You To His Friends
You have been dating for a while but you have never met his friends. In fact he never brings them up. He never suggests for you to come and meet them and if you suggest it, he says that they're having a lads night out. And for the love of god don't mention meeting families or he'll have a heart attack. He's wary of your friends too, he prefers to have time with just you and no one else. This makes you feel really special but the truth is that he would prefer if people didn't recognise his face. At least that way he can enjoy his pint in piece and be oblivious to any dirty looks directed his way when things go sour. He makes sure you go places off the beaten track so he can avoid any surprise meetings.
2. Stands You Up
He says he'll meet you for lunch but something always comes up. He's never apologetic about it either, it's just something that happens. However if it's something like a DVD at yours which will most likely lead to sex he'll be there in a heartbeat. Then after the pants party, his hectic schedule resumes once more.
3. Won't Make Plans For The Future
Now if you have been together for a few weeks, suggesting a year round trip around the world will signal alarm bells for any self respecting man. However if you have been dating for a few months, you might have finally cropped up the courage to suggest maybe, perhaps going to a concert in a weeks time. If he can't even see where he'll be in a week then my friends you have got yourself a commitment-phobe. If he's running for the hills at the suggestion of coffee at the weekend then maybe, just maybe he has one or two issues he should really try and figure out.
4. You're The Needy One
When you ask can you spend some more time together he makes you feel like you're being too clingy. He'll give you some song and dance about being a lone wolf or that he's kind of a loner at heart. Then he'll probably say that he needs even more space. He leaves you feeling like an overly attached girlfriend, questioning your own sanity.
5. Empty Compliments
When you're alone together he compliments you all the time. You are the prettiest, sexiest, funniest thing he has ever seen. But when you're in public, he doesn't even salute your existence. If he does give you some sort of recognition, you giggle like a schoolgirl. So weak...
6. You Find Yourself Trying To Constantly Please Them
There comes a point when he no longer wants to try and even pretend he's in a relationship. You make allowances because you think he's just scared of how amazingly awesome your relationship is. Stop fooling yourself. No amount of blow jobs and dinners are going to make him any less of a commitment-phobe. It's something he has to grow out of it.
7. You Should Be Honored When They Do Show Up
When he does decide to show his face. He arrives with a sense that you should be honored with his lateness. If it doesn't work for Kanye, it certainly isn't going to work for you dearest.
8. Doesn't Make Any Effort
You are still kind of on eggshells when you're meeting up. You still shave above the knee and you make sure you smell of roses and feel as smooth and as soft as a babies bottom. He is a different story. He will show up looking like a prepubescent skater boy and he'll probably smell like one too. When he does show up looking like Channing Tatum's less attractive cousin, it can be easily seen that it's not for you. He has one eye set around the room, just in case he meets anyone he knows. When you chill at home he says stuff like he's glad he can be himself around you. This is great but no one should ever be comfortable enough to pick at their bellybutton when they have company.
9. Doesn't Stay The Night
If he prefers his own bed he can take his own hand to pleasure town then. It doesn't matter what excuse he uses this is a clear warning sign that he doesn't want things to get too serious. If he does stay the night but leaves in the wee hours, it is not because he doesn't want to miss the sunrise. If he always has plans in the morning so he can't hang around then it's time to re-evaluate who you're having sleep overs with. Who goes to nine o'clock lectures anyway?