PDA Limits & Making Time: 11 Rules For Every New Relationship

So you've been dating for a few weeks and you've decided to take the plunge, give into social norms and give yourselves a label. New relationships are exciting and fun. Clearly you both really like each other and enjoy hanging out, so this is just making things a tad more 'official'. Here are some guidelines on dealing with your new relationship;

1) Learn the PDA Limit

Everyone has different levels of comfort when it comes to public displays of affection. Recognise what works for you two and don't try to publicly make out with them if they aren't comfortable with that. If you're the one with the PDA issue just explain you're not into it. If they like you they won't mind, all the more reason to really show your affection in private.

2) Don't Ditch Your Friends

Your boy/girlfriend shouldn't be the only social interaction you have, that's pretty unhealthy. You shouldn't ditch your mates just because you're enjoying a consistent emotionally engaging sex-life. You'd be pissed if your friends ditched you, don't be the person who disappears as soon as they get an other half. Make time for your friends, they're important too. Let them hang out with their friends as well. We all need a break from romance every once in a while.

3) Make Friends With Their Friends

You already have a person in common with them, so they can't be all bad. Make an effort with their friends, if they're on your side your relationship will go a whole lot smoother, believe me.

4) Make Time For Each Other

College life can be hectic and your new relationship isn't your only commitment. You could have a job, assignments due, classes, hobbies and your friends. But you should always make an effort to hang out at least once a week without anyone else around. It could be a date night out for dinner or the cinema, or you could just watch a show on Netflix with pizza. Whatever your idea of a great night with your significant other is, do it at least once a week.

5) Don't Suffocate Each Other

Many new relationships fall into the classic routine of becoming absolutely obsessed with the other person. You can end up spending nearly every waking (and sleeping) moment with them. This can lead to an early end to the honeymoon phase, arguments and missing out on the rest of your life. Give them and yourself some space, you'll drive each other insane otherwise. Try not to get too offended when they tell you they just want to stay in by themselves tonight, they still like you they just want some alone time.

6) Don't Plan Your Entire Future

They've agreed to be in a relationship with you, they haven't agreed to marry you. Don't start planning when you're going to live together and what courses they should take so that you can spend more time together. If they are planning on moving colleges or cities don't instantly start searching for places where you could live together. Too much too soon can scare people off. Relax and enjoy what's happening right now and stop focusing so much on the future.

7) Chill With Your Insecurities

Again, they have agreed to go out with you, so you should know that they do actually like you. Don't lose it when they say someone else is good-looking or if they don't like something that you like. Calm down.

8) Be Yourself

You should want them to fall for you, not a version of you that's actually nothing like you. Like the things that you like and don't pretend to be into all the things that your new beau is into. They'll catch you out eventually, maybe after going to the fourth concert of a band that you secretly hate. They don't want to bore you, so be honest about what you like and don't like. Embrace their interests too, you might discover a new interest of your own!


9) Don't Hide Things

Obviously you don't need to open up and spill all your secrets, but don't actively hide things that might affect your relationship. Stuff like you still being friends with an ex and whether or not you've got a STD. These things should be discussed before an epic argument escalates.

10) Go At Your Own Pace

Just because you've agreed to be someone's girlfriend or boyfriend doesn't mean that they have an open invitation to your genitals whenever they please. You have every right to take your time if that's who you are. Never do something that you aren't ready for, they should respect and understand this. If they flip out, they aren't emotionally mature enough for a relationship right now.

11) Don't Play Mind Games

Your new boy/girlfriend is not a mind reader, so don't treat them like one. If you aren't happy with something, just tell them. If you want to do something in particular on your date night, just tell them. If you don't want to hang out with them, just tell them. Being forthright is great. You're honest and are more likely to get what you want and be all the happier for it.

Orlaith Costello
Article written by
Orlaith is a Creative Writing graduate from NUI Galway. Hailing from the low lying fields of Athenry, or at least what’s left of the low lying fields. She enjoys the internet as a means of living vicariously through others from the safe confines of her own bed. She will initiate a dance off after at least two drinks on any given night out.
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