Guys are not as smart as girls, a fact that most girls seem to find difficult to grasp. We are not good at dealing with loaded questions, or questions with subtle hints or meanings that we're supposed to pick up on. We can only take things at a simple, level, and at face value. Here's a list of some of the questions guys hate to be asked.
Do I Look Fat In This?
The most dangerous of questions. No is always the answer. If she thinks you're lying, do not change your answer, it's a trap.
Do You Think She's Prettier Than Me?
Another question that no is always the answer. Your other option is to run away. That works too.
What Are You Thinking?
Apparently 'nothing' is not an acceptable answer to this, even though that's usually the case. She'll think that you're hiding something.
What Is The Offside Rule?
Doesn't apply to all girls because I know more than a few of them who are better at football than me, but for those that it does apply to, trying to explain the offside rule to anyone who doesn't watch football is just frustrating for everyone involved.
Which Shoes Do You Think Go Nice With This Dress?
Guys know nothing about shoes, and there is a wrong answer to this question. Yes, your opinion can be wrong. Tread carefully.
If You Could Change Anything About Me, What Would It Be?
'ABSOLUTELY NOTHING YOU ARE PERFECT!'- Has to be as enthusiastic as possible, otherwise she won't believe you, and you will be punished.
Do You Think He's Cheating On Her? (Or Any Question About Another Couple)
Despite the fact that you might not care, you do have to feign an interest in this kind of stuff, and a general knowledge of the couple in question is expected.
Did You Hear What She Said About Me?
Firstly you have to know who she is talking about, and what the subject matter is. This question can get you bogged down in gossip talk for hours.
Are You Even Listening To Me?
By the time this question has been asked, it's already too late. Better just to own up and say no then to try and bluff your way out of it.
I Don't Mind, What Do You Want To Do?
Do not ever say what you want to do. You will be wrong. Insist that she gives her opinion before then agreeing with it.
How Many People Have You Slept With?
There is no right answer to this question.
Who's The Prettiest Girlfriend You've Ever Had?
Her. Always her.
Will You Do My Back For Me?
For anyone who doesn't know, she is asking you to put fake tan on her back. You will make a mess of this job and your hands will smell afterwards so you may as well just make your peace with that now.
So, Where Do You Think This Is Going?
This is in reference to your relationship, if you are in one. Because apparently it is not okay to only have thought as far into the future as what you're going to have for dinner this evening.
What Do Your Friends Think Of Me?
You have to say that they like her, regardless of if they do or not. Just be warned that she won't believe you and there'll be a lot of convincing to be done.
Do You Think Your Parents Will Like Me?
Again, you have to say yes and do a lot of reassuring. Even though nothing you say is going to help at all.
So... What Do You Think?
This question will be asked the first time she sees you that day, and it means that she has anything from a new haircut, to new shoes, to new earrings on. It's your job to figure out which, and you will not be given any clues.
Do You Mind If We Go Shopping? It'll Only Take A Minute
It never ' only takes a minute'. Ever. This can only be summed up by one gif.