It probably sounded like a great idea when it was first suggested, but don't do it. If you genuinely like this person that you've agreed to 'go steady' with, don't confuse the matter by agreeing to pay rent together. You are in college, you don't need to settle down with someone. Obviously everyone's situation is different but for the most part having your space while you're trying to get a degree, enjoying your social life and maybe even working a part-time job are stressful enough without shacking up with your partner. Put the brakes on, you need to slow the fuck down.
1. They are more than a roommate.
If you can't get along with your housemate, imagine what it's going to be like living with your boyfriend. People often say that you shouldn't live with your friends because by the end of the lease you won't be friends anymore. Do you think your relationship will survive it? All those annoying habits your housemate has that drives you insane is one thing; you can just leave a passive-aggressive note that they'll share on the internet and you'll bury the hatchet. That's not going to happen if it's your boyfriend or girlfriend who's using all your shampoo, eating all your food and not cleaning up after themselves. As their partner, the rest of the housemates will assume you've to talk to them about it and sort it out. You won't be their housemate as much as their minder. Are you really ready for that? Shouldn't you figure out how to mind yourself?
2. The Sleeping Arrangement.
If you're both in separate rooms this may not be an issue unless you spend every night in your bed. If that's the case the other housemates might suggest getting someone else in to bring the rent down for everyone. Which would be great for everyone except the two of you. Sure you'll have to pay less but you'll have no chance to sleep by yourself. You will have to sleep with them every single night. This might be great for the first couple of weeks, but sometimes you need the space to have all the covers to yourself and no one else's snoring or sleep talking getting in the way of your weekly lie-in. Plus, you probably won't be able to get a day nap in, and college students love their day naps.
3. There will be no mystery.
You will be jumping from college romance to college 'marriage' relationship, splitting bills and grocery lists. You will see each other hungover, without make-up, covered in zits, shaving, plucking, waxing, picking nails. If you have any weird body stuff, they'll find out about it. There will be no more mystery or intrigue because once someone lives with you they see the real you, not the perfect version of you that lives online or who gets up an hour earlier to slightly curl their hair. This is something that can happen organically over the course of the relationship, but you're skipping all of that and going to start to finish without doing any of the bits in between. That can be too much for a young couple.
4. You will share everything.
What was once just your own stuff, it now is considered both of yours. You'll most likely do your food shopping together to save money; cook food together to save time; and do washing together. Everything will be together. Are you really up for spending every free moment with your boyfriend who you might only be with for a couple of months? Again, this might be great for the first few months but you will eventually just want o hang out with your friends, or with Netflix by yourself.
5. Night with just your friends? No chance.
You won't be able to have friends over for a movie night or drinks without them. Frankly, it would be rude to have your friends over and leave your girlfriend/boyfriend alone in your room. So in order to have a night away from your partner you'll have to leave your place and head out. What if you just want a lazy night in with your friends? Are you going to ask your boyfriend/girlfriend to leave? Do you think they'll be cool with that?
6. What if you have a fight?
Whenever I have fights with anyone I need space after. Even if I get annoyed with someone and I know I'm going to blow up with rage I need to excuse myself from the situation. That's a bit more difficult to do when you live with the person. If you get annoyed and them on a night out say and you have a huge fight courtesy of alcohol and drama you will have nowhere to run, you're sleeping in the same bed. Which might mean that you'll bury the hatchet straight away because you won't want to sleep on the couch or whatever. But all those unresolved issues will build up and fester and one day it will just be too much.
7. End of lazy days.
If you want a lazy day with sweatpants, grilled cheese and buckets of tea, you can't because your boyfriend is in your bedroom using your Netflix account on your bed. You'll feel the need to entertain them, to go out on dates, do things together. So if there's a show you like and want to binge watch but they hate it you're going to have to either watch it away from them in the sitting room or the library or sit next to each other on the bed and not speak as you each watch something different. Awkward.
8. No study space.
College is after all the place you go to get a degree as well as have a fantastic time. But when your boyfriend/girlfriend lives with you, you both have limited space to study in. If you need to do an all-nighter, but your boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't and maybe even has an early morning lecture. That is the worst. Instead of making a nest for yourself on your bed to write for the night, you have to crouch over the coffee table by the couch and be freezing cold and bitter. And if they have to do an all-nighter you'l be in the bed and you'll feel guilty for taking away their bed. Some people need their own space to study and if your personal space is filled with their stuff and them, you won't be able to focus.
9. It is really what you want?
Really make sure this is what you want to do. Be absolutely sure. Have you honestly considered everything that living with your significant other will mean? Are you only doing it to save money? There are some great benefits to living with them. You will save some money and you will probably have lots of great times hanging out with each other. But as much money as you'll save, you'll miss out on having personal space, your own belongings and the opportunity to just lie around and watch Netflix all day instead of studying if you want. There are benefits but make sure its really what you want and if you're relationship is really strong enough to withstand any difficulty you might face. It's a big step, do you really want to settle down in college?
10. What if you break up?
College is stressful at the best of times. Add a new relationship and new living relationship to the mix and that stress level can skyrocket. If you did break-up things would get unbelievably awkward in your house. You've signed a lease! Will one of you move out or will you remain in the same house/bed for the rest of the lease? You won't just be breaking up with them if you're leaving you'll be breaking up with the rest of your housemates as well. It's a huge commitment, are you really ready to make it?
