For something that's supposed to include and involve two people, relationships certainly seem to attract multiple opinions and numerous pieces of shitty advice from people who probably know next to nothing about them anyway. Upon announcing to the world that you've now engaging in semi regular sex and dates with someone, everyone from your Grandmother to your Dentist feels as though they should subject you to their supposedly infinite knowledge on the topic. Here's some terrible relationship advice we all need to stop believing;
1) Happy Couples Never Argue
Every couple argues. If you're one half of a couple who 'never argues', then I'd suggest getting professional help because that shit isn't normal. Arguments are a totally normal, everyday part of being in a relationship. Hell, if you manage to get through a day with having a little bicker then I applaud you. You're in the minority. Arguing or even disagreeing over things doesn't mean that you're doomed and should expect a breakup within the hour, it merely means you have an opinion. Or a pulse.
2) Don't Appear Too Interested In The Beginning
Ok, while this is some truth in this, don't take it too literally. Yes, you should appear somewhat aloof so as not to frighten them away, but for Gods sake, don't ignore them in the hope that they'll come begging for you. Anyone who does that is clearly deranged and/ or desperate. Don't devote all of your time and energy to them, but don't wait four days to text them back either. They might get the impression that you just aren't a big fan.
3) You'll Fall For The One That You Least Expect
But sometimes or even most of the time, you'll fall for the one you expect. Life isn't a Richard Curtis sop-fest. Ninety percent of the time, you won't wake up one day and realise that you're madly, inexplicably in love with your best friend. Most of the time, you'll fall for someone you met in a bar, slowly and over a series of awkward, expensive dates. The End.
4) A True Gent Always Pays
At the beginning, you'll either be paying or will be treated and speaking from a long since single life, I'm here to tell you to enjoy this time because it won't last for too long. A month down the line, you'll be splitting everything from a lunch in the college restaurant to the price of a pint. Of course, you should expect to progress to equal payment once the first little while has passed. Nobody likes a golddigger. That said, spoil your other half every now and then. You won't regret it.
5) Don't Give It All Up Straight Away
Forget what you read in Cosmopolitan, forget what your Granny told you, this is not 1956. This is 2015, we are liberated, free and open to everything. If you want to sleep with them relatively soon in the grand scheme of things, then do it. If they're atrociously bad in the sack, then shouldn't you find out sooner rather than later? There's nothing worse than falling for someone and then discovering that you'd have more fun in bed if you were asleep. Truth.
6) Jealousy Means They Love You
Are you deranged? Clearly. Being jealous, possessive creeps doesn't mean that they love you. What it means is that they have severe trust issues and will never fully, wholly trust you. Unless you fancy sending them reassuring texts every ten minutes whenever you're apart (which is rarely), then trust your instincts. If they're clingy at the beginning, just imagine how unbearable they'll be three months down the road. Also, you may need to change your number.
7) People Can Change, Give Them A Second Chance
Yes, people can change. I once chopped all of my hair up because I thought it was 'cool', for example. People change. What doesn't change is someone's morals, better judgement and basic sense of right and wrong. If they've cheated on a past partner, especially for you, then the chances of them not straying again are slim to none. Once a cheat, you know the rest...
8) Never Go To Bed Angry
Sometimes, it's the only way to get the apology/ resolve that you so feel you deserve. Have you ever gone to bed with someone you're not speaking to, when they're lying forty centimeters away from you? It's not pretty, let me tell you that. All you really want to do is roll over and resolve it, but sometimes, letting them sleep there awkwardly in the tension will ensure that they see how serious you are about something. Good luck trying to get to sleep though....
9) You'll Never Truly Be Happy Until You Fall In Love
If this is your belief, then you'll spend your whole entire life living in disappointment. Life isn't going to slow down and wait for you to find the love of your life. Do you really want to look back and remember feeling as though something was missing throughout what should have been the most fun, free years of your young life? Sure, being in love is great and all, but it's by no means the be all and end all. Grow up, get over it and get out there.