The Lizard & The Biter: The 7 Types of Kisser

Now some might say we at College Times have a preoccupation with sex, but we've got a sensitive side too you know. Honestly, we also like kissing 'n' stuff! Of course, we've all encountered kissers in our time that have their own “signature” techniques, with some being more pleasant than others. Question is though, which of the 7 types of kisser are you?:

7) The Biter


While there is definitely a demographic out there that enjoy the occasional nip, I don't think anyone wants to constantly struggle against a biter. Getting off with Bitey McGee can be a panic-inducing scenario cause putting your tongue in their mouth is like putting it in a fucking bear-trap.

6) The Prude



They're very proper, they're extremely prim, and they will not be putting their tongue in your mouth, thank you very much. Why, the very thought is ghastly. You can only imagine what they're like in the sack... in fact you'll have to imagine it because it's never gonna happen.

5) The Loud One


This kind of kisser demonstrates their “into-it” levels by generating as much lip-smacking and grunting noises as they can muster. Unfortunately for the receiver of this attention, it's more likely to make them shit themselves with laughter rather than to turn them on. It can also make them seem a little over-excited.


4) The Washing Machine


You think this kisser would grow out of this phase during their teenage years, but you'll notice some manage to slip through the cracks. They just shove that tongue into your mouth, give you the old spin cycle and hope for the best.

3) The Lizard



Another novel tongue technique that is truly irritating. This is where they slip their tongue into your mouth, do a bit of weird up-and-down lick, and slip it out again. It can be very distracting not to mention annoying.

2) The Eye-Opener


Is there anything more freaky and off-putting than realising mid-kiss that the other person has been staring at you the whole time? Nobody wants to momentarily open their eyes and see those wide open eyes boring into them. If you're guilty of this I'm gonna have to request that you cease and desist this behaviour.

1) The Great Kisser


Ah yes, the great one. They're hard to find; that kisser you naturally gel with so well that you become immersed and immediately fall into a perfect rhythm with each other. It's probably the best test of your chemistry with another person. However, that doesn't mean you're not compatible with someone purely because your first kiss with them wasn't great; if that were the case bad kissers would have gone extinct long ago. The good news is that with a bit of gentle training (because straight-up telling them they're not good at kissing would be a lousy move) even the shittest kisser can be turned into a great one.

CollegeTimes Staff
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