19 Things We'd Do If We Were Kids Again

We spend our whole childhood waiting to grow up and become adults and our whole adult life wanting to be five years old again. As children, we look at adults and wonder what we'll be like when we grow up and finally see what all of the magic and fuss is about, yet, as pissed off adults trying to scrape together money from week to week, we dream of being carefree children once again. Here are the things we'd do if we were kids again.

1) Pretend To Be Super Intelligent

This would be my number one goal. To actually feel super intelligent and above average would be A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. Now class, today we're going to learn how to multiply. *Smiles smugly.*

2) Accurately Predict The Future

"I predict a future where, when we talk to someone on the phone, we'll actually be able to see them at the same time." Someone tried to tell us this when we were young ones and we laughed so much, we cried. Hey, wait a second...

3) Enjoy A Relatively Technology-Free Life

Most of us, sadly, could not imagine a life without our phones, tablets and laptops surgically attached to us, but I for one, think that a day or two without them would be a lovely little break. A phone vay-kay. Imagine a time where you don't punctuate sentences with emojies. IMAGINE THE SHEER FREEING NATURE OF IT ALL.

4) Enjoy The Carefree Children's Life Once Again

Wake up, dress in what's handed to you, eat what's given to you, learn what's asked of you, play with nothing more than a ball and your imagination and all without the worry of where your next rent bill is coming from. Also, wearing a onesie in public would be far more acceptable. Like this little guy. Nawww.

5) Avoid People You Will Later Come To Hate

Children by nature, are so much more honest and forthcoming with their emotions, so it'd actually be much more acceptable to tell various people in our lives, just how much we hate them. Or just swerve away from them entirely and avoid nasty confrontation in later life.

6) Convince Your Parents That You Will Turn Out Ok (ish)

Just because you run around wearing a Spiderman costume, light up runners and have a tendency to bite people, doesn't mean that you're going to grow into an adult fruitloop. So tell this to your parents. They really aren't that likely to believe the babbling, cape wearing, mini person in front of them, but it'd be worth a shot.

7) Spend Time With People That Aren't Around Any More

Sadly, we have all failed to appreciate things until they were no longer there. People especially and as a child you definitely failed to appreciate the importance of certain people in your life, so to go back and hear their words of wisdom, would be oh, so fantastic.

8) Wear Tiny Clothes That Actually Fit

I wish I was a tiny, miniature, little human that could fit into tiny, miniature, little outfits and be aware of the fact that it's a total mind fuck to be able to fit into such teeny, weeny clothes. Just.so.cute.

9) Remember A Life Before Make Up And Shaving

Get up and go. Oh how we used and abused you. Oh how we would pay so much to go back to daily preparation consisting of no more than brushing our teeth. Oh world, why must you be such a cruel and unnecessary evil?

10) Go To A Ball Pit Without Looking Like A Weirdo

Every Birthday celebration was punctuated by the promise of the wonderful ball pit, an adventure hall of fun. Velcro, colours, things that looked like a car wash, but without water and for children, slides, Lilt, sausage and chips, injuring one another. Pure heaven.

11) Spend A Day Acting Like A Simpleton

Sorry there little townie/city children, for you will never know the wonder of a rough and tumble, country childhood. You will never be able to claim you jumped across bales with the elegance of a ballerina warming up, of building a hut with the skills of a fully fledged architect, or of hitching a lift in a tractor, the smells of a dozen different types of shit festering in your nostrils. We really had it all.

12) Wear Glitter, Scrunchies and Velvet Hairbands, Just Because You Can

I, tragically, do not have a cool enough facade to pull off the many styles that catch my eye. Five year old me however... Well now, that's a whole other matter. No sparkle is too much, no neon too bright, no layer too many. We be rocking that shit.

13) See Your Favourite Childhood Band Live

The Spice Girls. I want to see The Spice Girls. When the reunion tour decided that bypassing Ireland was a smart and viable move, I died a little inside. There I was, years impatiently waiting for them to come and teach me some girl power in person. They were so close I could smell the spice. Bitches.

14) Re-Remember What A 9-3 PM Day Is Like

Oh my, what a long and difficult six hour day you've had, dear child. Go home and take a wee nap now, why don't you. Oh, well, I'm just casually coming home from an 11 hour shift now Mammy, don't see you ordering me to take a nap this time around. How the tides have turned against me.

15) Be A Cunning 5 Year Old Fucker And Bring Those Bullies Down

I know you are, but what am I? You? You're a condesending, patronising, inbred, mistake of a human being actually, since you asked. Won't be asking that again now, will you. Confused faces all around.

16) Be The Next Picasso In Art Class

Right now boys and girls, today we're going to do some marble, paint splattering. Ok Miss. We got this. Little do they know, we've been perfecting our art skills for 14 years. Just prepare to be amazed by our shading work.

17) Go To Bed At 8pm And Love Every Minute Of It

If it was socially acceptable for us to be in bed before 8pm, we would be. If only there weren't so many boxsets to binge watch, so many tasks for us to complete. Everyone remembers the deep upset they felt when being put to bed during the summer, the sun still glistening outside, birds still chirping, parents chilling in front of the tv. Can we go to bed now please?

18) Being Fed Without Thought Or Question, Several Times A Day

I really can't remember what this feels like, having been an independent, noodle eating misery, for some time now. I want to go back to being seated and force fed (not that forcefully), at various points throughout the day, without being called a useless specimen of adulthood.

19) Telling Your Friends Where Babies Actually Come From And Watching Them Cry

This was always the subject of much fascination to us, mainly because my mother used to tell me that people were "getting a new baby", which lead me to believe that babies were simply selected from a shelf in the baby shop. Although, that did also make me question why people would pick some of the babies they did, some of them weren't lookers, to say the least. Hey Siobhán, guess how you were made...