We all have someone like this in our lives. That one friend who happens to be bundles of fun, a whirlwind of adventure and joy and then from nowhere, she finds herself a boyfriend. This is the social equivalent of premature death. She may as well have gone to the nearest cliff and taken a literal running jump because from here on out, you will never see her again. There are a number of theories as to why this illness is taking over the female population and your friend is no exception. You can run, you can hide, but you just can't escape it.
I too am a victim of friend loss on account of several shitty relationships. One in particular really stands out. This girl: smart, pretty and, well, to put it mildly, has literally everything going for her. But then another washout comes along and it's all "farewell pal, nice knowing you, see you when this one crashes and burns too." I tried to warn you. I feigned interest at first, I asked his name and occupation, but then one shit laden story after another started pouring out and the warning bells started screaming loud and clear. But you know what? Wake the fuck up and smell the impending doom. You're an adult now and yes, we all experience heartbreak, but you appear to enjoy hitching a ride and crashing directly into your own sorrow, unlike the rest of us who tried everything in our power to keep it at bay.
I'm going to tell you something now and I need you to react calmly and rationally. Relationships are like crumbs. Yes, you read that correctly, crumbs. You'll go through probably just a few too many in your time, some make you feel guilty, they leave a mess everywhere but most important of all, if they break free, the whole cake (your life), won't fall apart, despite what you think.
Yes, I understand that relationships are important and that when they're good, they can enhance your life like nothing else. I've been there, done the time, got the cheesy pictures to prove it. But do you know what else? Having your heart smashed to smithereens hurts. It hurts physically. Mentally. Emotionally. It consumes you from within and there are times when you can't see a way out, a way forward. But then you move on and every day gets a little easier and you know what I've discovered? Being alone and happy is a trillion times better than being in a sad, lonely relationship because at least when I feel alone now, well I can call on friends or family to cheer me up, whereas before, well try explaining to your friends that your boyfriend makes you feel lonely and unloved because I've done it and it's rougher than a week old towel drying in the sun.
Understand, dear romance seekers of the world, that there's so much more to life. Instead of wasting your precious hours on this Earth sat waiting around for him to text back, to reassure you that no, of course he didn't message that 'friend' first, why don't you put it good use instead? Why not put that time into the people who actually won't break your heart? Spend time with your family, make memories with your friends, pick up new skills, build your career, plan some wild and exciting adventures, save your money and travel the world. Do you really want to look back on your life when you're lying on your death bed and be filled with regret and guilt for everyone else that you neglected? Well, I sure as shit don't. There is more to life than your relationship. We were there before this idiot came along, and we'll be there long after.
So to all of those girls out there with no higher aspirations than to shack up with the latest waste of mind consuming space, I say this: please get a fucking grip before it's too late.
Single and eternally irritated girls everywhere.