Being from the middle of nowhere is a love hate kind of thing. On the one hand, growing up surrounded by nothing by fields and livestock, you were really forced to use your imagination on a daily, hourly, secondly, basis. There's no such thing as playgrounds where we're from. A playground to us was a cattle shed and a tyre with a stick. It's only really when you grow up and leave home that you become aware of how different your upbringing was to that of a city childs. So here, for all of my fellow country bumpkins, is a guide likely to strike a chord or seven. You know you're from the middle of nowhere when;
1) You Consider Roads Without Grass In The Middle To Be 'Main Roads'
2) When Someone Beeps You Presume They Know You
3) Your Parents Secretly (Not That Secretly) Live In Fear Of You Bringing Home A Townie
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4) You're Related To Roughly 63% Of The Village
5) When You Don't Know Someone At Mass Your Parents Get Extremely Insulted
6) Everyone Presumes You're A Snob If You Dare To Live Elsewhere
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7) People From Other Places Don't Understand Your Accent A Lot Of The Time
8) Your Neighbours Were Either Actual Family Or May As Well Have Been
9) Going Back Home Is A Mammoth Task
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10) You've Had The Same Friends Since Baby Infants
11) But They're Still Not Quite Sure How To Get To Your House
12) You've Been Able To Drive Since You Were 8
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13) You Moving To College Was A Terrifying Experience For Your Whole Family
14) You Have Zero Fear Of Animal Shit
15) You Had Many, Many Pets Growing Up. (Including Lambs, Calves And Butterflies)
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16) Your Parents Have Driven Up To Visit You Twice In Four Years, But You're Expected To Hop Home To Them On A Weekly Basis
17) The Word 'Bog' Induces The Fear Of God Like Nothing Else
18) When Your City Friends See Pictures Of Where You Live They Basically Lose Their Lives
19) You Grew Up With People Constantly Coming And Going And Find An Empty House To Be A Little Bit Sad
