By the time we get to college, we think we know everything there is to know about handling our drink from knocking back the alcopops on your friends couch. Turns out that there's a bit more to it than that pal. Don’t worry, we all make these mistakes, but we learn from them and then we forget what we’ve learned and carry on doing them for the rest of our lives anyway....
Drinking on an empty stomach.
Whether it’s a spontaneous afternoon pub trip that turned into an all-you-can-drink feast, there's no time to eat, or there's just a depressing lack of funds to stock up the fridge, we often find ourselves skipping dinner and moving straight onto a dessert of Malibu and Coke. This is great when you're feeling tipsy two drinks in, but not so great when you’re puking it all back up in the toilets an hour later..
Getting smashed at a family party.
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Drinking with your relatives can often be a great experience, and if not great, then at least it's eye opening. But antics like drunk dancing with your Nanna at your Aunt’s 50th is something guaranteed to be brought up every Christmas for the next 10 years straight...
Drinking so much you don't get into the club.
Ah, those lovely bouncers checking if you’re ok, but one wrong stumble and things can take a turn for the absolute worst. And before you know it, they're telling your friend to go and take you for a coffee and you're out of the queue forever. Coffee or no coffee, you are not getting in tonight, my friend. I just feel sorry for the poor bastard who has to take you home...
Drinking so much that you don’t leave your house.
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Pre-drinks, the heart of any student night out. You'd be lost and broke without them, but enjoy it too much and you can often find yourself passed out in your own bed 6 hours earlier than planned. Don’t worry, we’ve all been there at some point, just try and hold your head up high when everyone’s laughing at you the next day
Asking the barman to ‘surprise you’.
You’re feeling lucky, so why not let the expert pick your drink for you. Ten minutes later you’re sipping away at the world’s strongest cocktail known to man. Make sure to pretend you’re enjoying it so you don’t hurt his feelings....
Trusting yourself to know when to stop with spirits.
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You’ve invested in a 1 litre bottle of vodka to see you through the next week of going out, putting faith in yourself to stop at a certain point so you can still stand. Cue a major blackout and a lot of confusion the next day, only to be answered by a nearly empty bottle standing proud in the kitchen.
Drank way too much on a first date.
First date nerves are something that get all of us, so to guarantee that the conversation keeps flowing, you order a few too many drinks with your meal. Suddenly you’re slurring your words trying to order dessert and your date is wondering how long you’ve had an alcohol problem for. There, there...
Mixing every drink known to man.
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We’ve all been warned, and we’ve all ignored the advice. Have fun with that hangover tomorrow sunshine, you've earned it.
Thinking you could handle two bottles of wine.
You could spend hours in the supermarket deciding how much wine to get, one is not enough, but two is too much. So, of course, everyone gets the two, just in case. You tell yourself you’ll know when to stop and that you don’t have to drink all of it. Nice try LIAR.
Doing some badass tequila shots without the lemon/lime.
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Shots aren’t a pleasant experience in general, so the taste of some lemon straight after has become a blessing. God forbid you order a round of tequila and the bartender says they’re out of fruit. Cue those dreaded few seconds of wondering if you’re actually going to die after you down it, before it passes...and you order another round.
Getting pissed at a work do.
Seeing everyone from work in a social environment can be so rare that it feels wrong not to celebrate with way too much alcohol. But then, having a loud drunk bitch about your manager or getting it on with a co-worker are going to keep the work gossips bubbling away for the next few months. Are you ready for that? ARE you?
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Succumbing to drinks deals of any shape or form.
You were at the bar, and you panicked, blurted the first offer you saw, which happened to be one of the triple drinks deals. Us students love a bargain. Now you’ll spend the next hour holding three drinks, but you have to finish them because it’s only right.
Making sure that the only water you consume is from your ice.
A glass of water every hour or so can mean you’ll resemble a human slightly more the next day, but drunk logic tells you that you’ve already spent half the night in the toilet with all those beers, why make a problem even bigger than it needs to be.
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Putting your stash in the communal fridge at a house party.
"Oh, this seems to be where everyone’s putting their drink, guess I’ll throw mine in too, keep it cold."
No. Because approximately two hours from your arrival, everyone will suddenly start to get very lax on whose drink is whose, and you spot a stranger halfway through one of your cans. Find a quiet corner to put your drink and play it safe, trust me on this one.
Bringing your card out with you.
It’s annoying when you have no cash, and trying to make an informed decision at a cash point when you’re a little tipsy can often mean your account is going to be looking a bit empty in the morning. Oh well, drinks are on you! Until tomorrow, when nothing but shame and regret are upon you....
