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11 Christmas Gift Ideas For Broke College Students

If you've spent all your money on Jagerbombs, pints and cocktails, your bank account is going to be absolutely blown to shit. You have about 27 cent for three family members and 6 mates. They'll appreciate a cola bottle each, right? Or not....that's where that lifesaver comes in: the homemade christmas gift. It's sweet, it shows you care because you actually put time into it and best of all: it's cheap. Only problem is...what do you make for them? Well, how about...

1) Decorated Converse

If you happen to be a self-proclaimed artistic genius* and you know someone with an old pair of converse they don't wear that often, this could be a good opportunity to jazz them up a bit. It might be a little tricky to get your hands on them unless you live with them though. Alternatively, you could give them your own converse if you're both the same size. Whatever, once you get your hands on some converse, decorate them with something you know they love. Whether it's a Bat-Signal, AC/DC or Breaking Bad, there's got to be something you can throw on there to make them look totally badass.

*See if at least one other person proclaims you an artistic genius before trying this.

2) Choose Your Own Adventure Story

If you're a dab hand at writing, then it might be worth your while to throw a personalized story together for a mate of yours. Except, let's face it, any story that isn't written by a professional writer is probably going to be a bit of a slog to get through. They'll probably just read it to please you and then never read it again. Well, to prevent that happening, what if you made a game of it? Start the story of with something like "<Insert mate's name here>  wakes up and gets ready to go to college. On the way, s/he hears a voice saying 'help!" down an alleyway. At that moment, <insert your name here> texts him/her, asking "Where are you? You're not going to believe who's at the college!" Do you A) investigate the alley or B) head into college?" To save a lot of writing and organizing hassle, you can use a website called Twine, which creates the story automatically with a Web Tool.

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3) Composed Song

This probably seems cheesy as hell. And if you're doing it for your girlfriend or boyfriend, then you're right, it is. No one wants to hear an amateurish love song, written in a hurry over a couple of evenings. Three words for ya: Take. The. Piss. Think of something embarrassing that they did once and write a song about that. Or an annoying habit they have. Anything. People appreciate mediocre funny songs far more than good love songs. Feel free to film it and post it on YouTube as well, so that they can listen to it whenever they like. (A single performance might come across as a little cheap!)

4) In-Joke Book

On the topic of taking the piss, you could just write a personalized joke book. This doesn't mean you have to be absolutely hilarious, or even halfway decent at telling jokes. All you have to do is think of anything, anything, you and your friend have ever found amusing and find a way to fill a page with it. For example, if you have a mutual friend you gets hammered really easily, do a list of "Things that can get our mate Jimmy drunk: 1: Seeing the word 'Whiskey. 2. Not swallowing alcoholic mouthwash. 3. Walking through a field of barley." etc

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5) A 'Duuuu-rty' Painting

Another classic home-made gift that art students do, this is perfect for fitting your own sense of style into a Christmas present. A good way to go is to simply draw something you think your mates will like. (This will often involve dark, Tim Burton-esque doodles, or possibly Pokèmon into regular style paintings. For great effect though, it's worth taking a famous painting or sculpture as a template. Once that's done, take pains to draw or paint your friends face into the picture. You can use the likes of the Mona Lisa or, better again, Jack's picture of Rose from 'Titanic'. Even if you can't draw, that would be well worth having.

6) 'Jurassic Park: Directors Cut'

If you're a film student (or if you think you are and have a decent camera on your phone), then how about making a student film. Dedicated to your mate. You can take their favourite movie of all time and do a crappy remake of it, with you as the only actor. Which they would be guaranteed to love! Alternatively, if that seems like too much hassle, you can just collect all of their favourite YouTube videos, pile them together on a DVD and label it 'Hangover DVD'. Sorted.

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7) Hipster Scarf

I know, before you say anything, I KNOW! You can't knit. Some people can, and those people are incredible, but you probably can't knit. With that in mind, how flattered would someone be knowing that you learned to knit in order to give them a present?! It doesn't even have to be a decent scarf; make it a hipster scarf. Make it elaborate, tattered, multi-coloured, whatever. The more distinctive it looks, the better job you've done!

8) Biscuit Or Cake

No human being alive is going to turn down free cake. The same holds true for biscuits, but you can't just hand them a box of Jaffa cakes, say Merry Christmas and scarper. You have to make it look like you made a bit of an effort. All you need is the most basic cake or cookie mixture, a whole bunch of icing or food colouring and something you know they love. Draw Pac-Man on the cookies, a funny message on the cake. If all else fails, Pokèmon!

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9) USB mix tape

Easily the laziest idea on this list, but no less appreciated. Throw a while bunch of your favourite songs on a USB stick, wrap it in a ribbon and you've got yourself the cheapest and easiest gift idea in history. An added benefit is the fact that you can download funny songs or sound effects online as well, and throw them in the middle for giggles.

10) Make-Your-Own-Cocktail Mixture

If you've been in college for the past few months, odds are you've had plenty of experience making your own cocktails for giggles. Well, in honour of your good buddy, why not name one of these marvelous creations after them? Come up with a funny name for it (E.g. The <insert mate's name> Experience) and write it down on a piece of paper along with the recipe. As an added bonus, you can casually say "this is what we're drinking next time you're over". By which time, you'll have money again and probably a lot of leftover alcohol from Christmas....well maybe.

11) Lego Sculpture

What's better than spending hours in line, looking for a mediocre gift idea in Tesco? Playing with Lego and rediscovering your childhood, that's what! For the quirky college students, with no discernible skills, why not try and make a Lego sculpture for your mate? Make something they like, but don't set the bar too high. If possible, go for a cube, or ball, with a symbol on it. Easy, yet thoughtful.

Know what looks good on a C.V.? Published work! If you’re interested in joining the College Times team, please email us ([email protected]). We’d love to hear from you!

Harry Mason
Article written by
Imported from the back-arse of nowhere, Harry Mason writes about whatever the voices in his head tell him to write about. This often includes sex, drugs and video games... sometimes all three.

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