It's the most wonderful time of the year. It's the hap-happiest season of all. College is back. It's time to go ruin yourself. So let's all raise a glass to being drunk guys, we've earned this. Here it is in 11 stages:
1) Happy: *Sipping on your first drink, eyes rolling back in your head with joy.* I am sooooo pumped, tonight is going to be sooo fun. I am on fleek.
2) Loveable: I just love my friends so much. They are literally the best humans to have ever been created. They are wonderful unicorns.
3) Self-ful : But wait, LET ME TAKE A SELFIE.
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4) Stressed: The fucking taxi is here, I have 1/4 of a naggin left. FML, okay, closed eyes, pinched nose and down the vodka goes.
5) Fierce: Omg the tunes in here are hunreal. My friends are hunreal. I am hunreal. I just can't stop dancing, I'm so good at it. Why have I never noticed this?
6) Horny: So. Many. Attractive. People. *Runs into the bathroom to apply three more inches of make-up.* Come on boobs, look pert. Would it be weird if I did a few squats to get the buns up? Fuck it. I am a goddess. I don't need that shit.
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