Unlike the common misconception about lazy productive people, you do get shit done. You just get it done on your own time and terms. You'll hand in all those assignments and clean your room, but you'll do it when you feel like it. People think you're the laziest person in the world but you're not, you're just inventive.
1) You apply for jobs in bed.
They can't see that you're in your pyjamas and haven't washed your hair in 5 days.
2) You pay bills in bed.
You may as well do something while you're lying around.
3) You basically do anything on your laptop, in bed.
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It's not just Facebook you're on, believe it or not.
4) You decide to clean your entire room and stop half way.
You get a shot of productive energy and decide to tackle the pile of shit that's called your room, but then lose it half way. At least it's half done!
5) Now you're stuck in the mess for the next few days.
Climbing over piles of clothes to move another pile off your bed.
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6) Because "I'll do it tomorrow" is 8 days away.
Ah sure, there's always time "tomorrow." Tomorrow is such a great time for everything to happen, seriously.
7) You have procrastinating down to a T.
What's the rush if the deadline isn't until next week? Plenty of time to fart around.
8) You leave things to the last minute so often that you're becoming an expert at finishing a major project in one day.
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If you can be productive for a full day and finish a good assignment, why spread it out longer than it needs to be? I got that shit sorted.
9) You decide to cook a 5-course meal for yourself (which is delicious), but leave the washing up for 5 days.
But you WILL clean it! I have other things to be doing, Jeez.
10) You go through a year of not exercising at all then have one elite athlete month.
You're an absolute slob for 11 months of the year and then one day a year you wake up and decide to be fit.
11) You drop the TV remote but don't want to lift your ass off the couch to get it so you do the awkward stretch.
You have the remote again so what's the problem? Come back to me!
