11 Things Girls Face Regulary That Really P*ss Us Off

We are gluttons for punishment.

1. Shaving our legs

Whether it's a wet shave in the shower or an emergency dry shave over the toilet bowl, it's never not messy and boring. And there's nothing, nothing, worse than spotting a few stray hairs around your ankles when you're out. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why?



2. Drying our hair

It's bad enough that you just have to sit there and look at yourself in the mirror (and risk inspecting your blackheads, overgrown eyebrows,etc.) but all you have to show after 20 minutes of elbow grease is fucking dry hair.

Upside: We won't succumb to the cold that our Mammy always tells us we will get if we go to bed with wet hair.


3. Dyeing our hair

It's difficult  impossible not to end up with it half way down your forehead, all over your ears, embedded in your finger nails despite those sexy gloves. You spend the next week scrubbing at the splashes of dye that you somehow managed to get on the ceiling.

Upside: At least if you ever murdered anybody you would be well versed in the cleaning process afterwards. NO JAIL YAY!


4. Broken bras

And it always has to be your favorite bra, doesn't it? The worst is when the wire pokes out of the lining and threatens to impale your whole rib cage. Even if you take the wire out, your tits end up looking like the equivalent to a lazy eye.

Upside: YOU GET TO TAKE OFF YOUR BRA! MMMmmmmhhhvhdugkk.


5. Waiting on our nails to dry

Just as you've finished your last  finger, you get the unholiest itch right in your arse crack. But you can't do anything about it because you'll wrinkle your nail polish, then when you wipe it off with nail polish remover the little fibers from the cotton wool stick to your other wet nails and then you just have 10 hairy nails with a hint of colour and everything is ruined and you want to die.



6. Applying fake tan

This is the equivalent to cutting our own fringes; we just keep going and going until we can no more. You spot a lighter patch so you lather on some more tan, but then it comes up in little balls resembling dirt. RAGE.

Upside: Life is better with a tan, Hun.


7. Wearing heels

I don't know anybody who enjoys the burning pain that wearing heels lends us. After 2 hours on the dance floor, it becomes socially acceptable to attach yourself to the nearest table/railing/person, so that we can diminish the fire in our shoes.

Upside: We get a bit horny sometimes just looking at our heels. Can't explain.


8. Periods

It's messy, it smells, and it feels like there is a little dominatrix troll swinging a mace around in our womb for 3 days or more. Along with the fact that one of the methods which helps us gain control over this 'issue' can give us Toxic Shock Syndrome. Thanks, world.



9. Assuming we're good with babies 

Society, just because we have vagina's does not mean that we're predisposed to being knowledgeable about sprogs. And just because we know how to carry kids inside of us, does not mean that we know how to carry them outside of us. We (and everyone else) have been scared into believing that a baby's head will snap off and roll across the floor if we're not careful. Should I just hold it by it's head, then?



10. Bra fittings

Want to get probed and prodded by a middle aged woman who is constantly tutting at your ignorance in wearing the wrong size bra? Then just go for a bra fitting. Even if you're wearing the right size, you're still wearing the wrong size.

Upside: At least you didn't exist in the 1800's and have to wear a corset. Fuck.

11. Getting paid less than men

Same job, same hours, same effort. Difference? A pair of tits and a vagina.

Upside: Yeah. There isn't really any.

Orla O'Callaghan
Article written by
Orla O'Callaghan, BA in English & Spanish, current MA in Journalism. Compulsive liar. (Honestly)

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