'Busy tonight?' - a question undoubtedly asked of millions of taxi drivers all over the world. I bet that question is the bane of their existence, one which circles their minds repeatedly just before they nod off to sleep. However, it's not all bad. Besides this stupid utterance, taxi drivers are privy to all sorts of salacious information. After scouring Reddit for the best tidbits of gossip made available to these cabbies, we have compiled them into a list below.
Also, spare a thought for the poor souls the next time you hop into a taxi, and for the love of God, stop flutin' around with the radio!
'Oh god I would spend 10,000 dollars for a glass of lemonade right now' - Little Zella
'Two lawyers representing opposite sides in a divorce planning to prolong the proceedings.' -urbanotter
'That he was cheating on his wife with his cocaine dealer, who came from the same country as I did (which is how the conversation got started) and it had been going on for 25 years. I don't know what impresses me more, a 25 year affair or a 25 year cocaine habit.' - fesxvx
'We used to have this customer, super nice lady, taking care of 5 of her grand kids because her own kids are no good and she stepped in to take care of them. We took her shopping, to the bank, took the kids to school. Did all kinds of stuff for her. But when I started driving nights...Prostitute.' - Spooky_Keller
'Drove a cab for awhile on weekends while in college. I had dated this girl for about a month when she confessed she had a boyfriend in Germany. She told me all about him and that he was going to be moving in with her. Stopped seeing her. A few months later I pickup a drunk couple at a bar. They're all over each other, making out in the back. The guy is German. We drop off the girl, then he has me take him home. He starts telling me how he just moved here to be with his girlfriend, but she's out of town for the weekend. He says American girls are easy cause they're suckers for guys with accents and he cheats on his oblivious girlfriend all the time. Yep, it was the guy. I said nothing as I dropped him at Keri's place. Always wondered what happened with them.' - dyadtriad
'I worked taking calls for a cab company, not as a driver but I had a fairly interesting call once. It was late at night and this girl was ordering her cab like this: so umm, oh, oooh, yeah could you... ooh... yeah I'd like a cab to... Hey! Would you mind not licking my pussy when I'm talking to the taxi guy? Thanks! ...well sorry about that, anyway...goes on to complete the order.' - Solna
'Not a cab driver but I am a very white guy that due to my military time can speak a fair amount of Urdu, I got to listen to my Pakistani cab driver in Vegas answer his phone and start talking about my newly wedded wife's tits.' - cam18_2000
'This man and wife got in my cab a while back, they were just talking lightly, and I'm fairly certain I heard "I still can't believe OUR SON got you pregnant." I could tell the man was super pissed. I stopped listening after I heard that...' - jaketocake
'My uncle once drove home two hot girls from the bar who began making out and were eating each other out by the time they got to their destination. They said they had no money...my uncle said no problem and went home.' - oncewasbreakingbad
'This is only semi-relevant, but I picked up a guy once who started talking about a night he recently had out of town, and met some hot bartender or something. It was a very awkward conversation because it seemed like there were a lot of weird pauses whenever I would reply, and a lot of his responses to what I said didn't quite make sense. After a solid 15 minutes of this, I realized he was talking to a friend via a Bluetooth headset. I've never felt so dumb.' - Bartothebear
'Out of college I drove cab for a summer. And one night I was driving an older couple to the airport. Turns out the wife was flying out the husband was staying. The husband was an older gentleman in a nice suit. After he said his goodbyes he had me drive across town where we picked up a much younger man. Who I originally took to be his son. That is until they started making out in the backseat. They had me take them to a club. Gave me a nice tip. Which helped alleviate the mind fuck I got that night heh.' - Lorazapam
'One time, I took a cab and the driver tried to sell me zoophilic porn... Freaking weirdo' - BestJester