24 Things You'll Hear At Every Music Festival

Music festivals are honestly one of the best ways to spend your summer, you get to listen to amazing tunes whilst surrounded by people who share the same interest as you (or at the very least enjoy getting equally as fucked up), not to mention that there is something just kinda magical about partying with strangers on a field in the blazing sun. However, that's not to say that festivals are perfect. In reality they can be quite predictable if you actually stop to think about it. Here are 24 things you're bound to hear at any music festival this summer.

1) "Are they checking bags?"

I think so, quick better hide your drink in your pants aye.

2)"Get your naggin out of your tights there love"


3)"Can't believe that prick took my naggin"
4)"Where's the toilets?"
5)"Fuck this I'll take a slash here."

Yes just pull your pants down and start pissing in the middle of everything, that's super classy.

6)"Any pills on ya there mate?"

Your jaws swinging like it's looking for a fight, maybe you've already had enough love.

8)"6 quid for a beer? Jog on mate."
9)"Look at the arse on her."
10)"She's a wet yoke."
11)"What's the bets I could pull her lads."

Yeah I'm sure her type is some topless douchebag in a floral bucket hat. Prince charming reincarnated...

12)"Make some noise!"

13)"I've been playing all over the world but there's nowhere like Ireland"


14)"I love you Dublin!?"

We're in Meath...

15)"Sorry mate do you have any credit on ya there?"
16)"Where did we put our tent again?"
17)"Do you have a spare smoke?"
18)"Hey, watch it!"

There's like a million people in front of us, there's no point pushing because you're not going anywhere.

19)"Can I get on your shoulders?"

Normally you wouldn't let a random stranger fuck up your back, but she's kinda hot so...hop on

20)*Emotional sobs from some random one*

21)"That one can't hack the sesh."
22)"Ogy Ogy Ogy...Oi Oi Oi"
23)"Does anyone have toilet role?"
24)"I'm definitely coming again next year!"

Because honestly this is the most fun you've had in your entire life.

Dafe Orugbo
Article written by
Dafe once went streaking in the middle of the day for the promise of a 4in1. He is in possession of a spectacular ass, and considers himself quite the suave "Motha-Fucka". He studies English and Law in Maynooth University, but rarely attends classes because he is; and I quote - "Too busy mackin them bishes". His love for appletini's is only outweighed by his love for appletini's. Be warned if you ever encounter Dafe in the real world, he will probably turn you to the darkside *whispers* black people...

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