Being lazy is both a blessing and a curse. You end up sitting down and spending lots of time in front of the TV usually, which is of course time well spent, but then y'know, you begin to feel a tad bit unhealthy. Everyone is a little bit lazy, but if you do any of these things then you know you're TOO lazy:
1) Showers don't always include water.
Dry shampoo and wipes work just as fine, and they're quicker.
2) Leaving crap TV on even though you don't actually want to watch it.
Because the remote is just too far to change the channel and it mighn't be so bad.
3) Getting a lift to the bus stop.
Even if it's down the road, it's still too far.
4) People thinking you're dead.
I'm not dead, my phone is just dead. And the charger is upstairs. So y'know, I'll do it later.
5) The relief when plans are cancelled.
YESSSSSS.
6) Staying hungry.
If there's no one home and nothing made, I will starve myself until someone else can fix it for me.
7) There's no point in having a wardrobe.
Because you wear the same three things every week and they stay in the corner of your room.
8) Being confined to the one floor.
Who can even deal with stairs.
9) Being too lazy to think.
Like being too lazy to think of things to put on this list.
10) Autocorrect.
Autocorrect stop trying to make my life difficult when I am trying to abbreviate everything. Omg.
11) Always having to take money out.
Counting change is hard.
12) Never giving a fuck.
Because it takes too much effort to care.
13) Mouthwash is your friend.
Goodbye toothbrush, hello to your much easier friend.
14) Getting every app available.
Particularly the ones where you can order take-away on your phone so you don't have to move.
15) Wasting electricity.
Or falling asleep with the light on. Can't be dealing with the whole "turning it off" thing.
16) Drinking your spirits straight.
Who makes the effort to buy mixers and all that, and hey this way you get drunk quicker. Win win.
17) Stopping eating because it's too tiring.
Using a knife and fork is haaaaaard.
18) Always telling the truth.
Lies are just too much work.
19) Listening to silence.
When the music stops on your phone and you don't bother taking it out to put on some more because it's all the way in your pocket.
20) Being a dryshite at concerts.
Screaming and cheering are far too much effort and they make me tired. Best to just silently nod along.
21) Using objects rather than your hands to pick things up.
Hangers and feet in particular.
22) Ringing downstairs for food.
When you're sick in bed and want some food. *rings* Hey Muuuum...
23) Dry shaves.
Always.
24) Sleeping in half of your double bed.
There's so much stuff on it.... I'll just put it on the other side.
25) Holding pee in.
It's just easier this way.
26) Ignoring messages.
I can tell this is going to start a conversation and I'm just not up for that.
27) Eating bread instead of toast.
It's the same thing, really.
