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4 Signs They're A Compulsive Liar

We all know one of those people. And by one of those people, I am of course referring to bullshitters. These are the kinda guys whose sexual adventures seem to increase exponentially while on holiday, they win all the fights you weren't there to see, and if they don't know the answer to any given question, they'll have no problem inventing one on the spot. Know how to spot deceivers of the flaming pants variety by recognising these telltale signs:

1) Stories Don't Add Up

This is how you initially catch on to a big ol' liar. Their constant fabrication of stories means that eventually, their lies get so out of hand that the liar themselves can't even keep up with them and they'll inevitably contradict themselves.

2) On The Defensive

The compulsive liar is trying their best to keep the truth from you, so if you get suspicious and try to probe them a little, the liar will get antsy. Once you start asking questions and you notice them getting irrationally defensive, warning lights should start flashing.

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3) Anxious

Despite the fact that it's entirely self-generated, the pathological spoofer is in a state of anxiety when they lie. They're aware that they might be caught out at any moment, and you may be able to tell from jerky and uncomfortable body movements that the liar is trying to contain their nervousness. We're onto you, you shifty fuck.

4) Come again?

Compulsive liars are usually thinking on their toes, making shit up as they go along, which is what leads to all the inconsistencies in their stories. If you catch them off guard and ask a tricky question that catches them in a lie, they may ask, "Sorry? Could you repeat that?" purely to buy themselves an extra few seconds to think of a new lie. If a friend or acquaintance of yours is ticking all these boxes, then I'm sorry, you've got a compulsive bullshit merchant on your hands. I swear.

Seán Kenehan
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Seán has been told by some that he resembles a young Hugh Laurie, but more people have tried to hire him as a Noddy impersonator. Something of a film fan, a pub quiz is one of the few situations in which he is even remotely useful. Seán enjoys the occasional beverage of the alcohol variety, Salt & Vinegar crisps, and referring to himself in the third person.

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