Yes they can make your legs as long and lean as a pony, but are they really worth all the hassle? Apart from making most averagely sized woman about two feet taller than everyone else in the club, they are extremely uncomfortable. Check out our five reasons why high heels are shit!
1) Walking Is A Challenge
If you are blessed with the power of being able to walk in high heels, then congratulations. If you stumble every so often or find it difficult to break into a fast walk, then take them off. You can always wear flats until you get to the club if you're that desperate to wear them.
2) Falling Is Pretty Much Ensured
As a rule, I believe that if you fall more than once in your heels, you should take them off or switch to a lower heel. You can do a horrific amount of damage to your ankles falling in heels, not to mention your dignity. I recommend a wedge for comfort, safety and not looking like a dick.
3) Slipping Is A Very Real Danger
Although it's very funny to watch, it can be extremely embarrassing and painful to have a tumble on the D-Floor. Avoid patches of spilt drink or vom to ensure you stay vertical for as long as possible and do not look like Bambi in stilettos.
4) Stabbing Fellow Party Goers WILL Happen
This happened to me and I will resent the woman responsible for as long as I live. Yes your dagger shoes did cut through my foot and make me limp, bloodily to the girls loos and yes, I did cry a little. It's ok for you to wear heels and suffer your own pain, but do not bring other people into it. Also, thanks for the scar. Bitch.
5) Pain And Suffering
After a night out on the tiles, you're feeling pretty drunk and tired. If you have any sort of distance to travel, your feet will be screaming out for some relief. To solve this issue, wear flats or take off your shoes in the taxi on the way home. Provided your feet don't stink, that is. Bye bye you burn inducing little bastard and hello sheer, unadulterated relief.
