Glasses can make anyone appear instantly more intellectual and sophisticated, there's also the added advantage of them allowing you to see and have something approaching decent depth perception.
This however doesn't come for free, there are many trails and tribulations that come with being a four-eyed nerd.
1. You lose them more often than your house keys
The early-morning scramble is made infinitely more stressful who your specks decide to go walkabout.
You curse them as you rummage fruitlessly about your house. The irony that searching for your glasses would be much easier if you could actually see properly is not lost on you.
2. The horror when you realise that you've accidentally crushed them
At the end of a long day you give the bridge of your nose a well deserved rest, take your specks off and rest them on the arm of your chair. You shift in your seat fiddling with your phone or hopping up to make a cup of tea. You sit back down, and after some time a chilling realisation settles over you. You've been sitting on your only pair of glasses for the last 20 minutes.
You reach underneath yourself and prise out the twisted frame, knowing that no matter how hard you try, from now on, they'll always be slightly askew.
3. When people take them off your face to see 'How blind you are'
Those with 20/20 vision fail to realise the sheer disorientation that strikes when your glasses are suddenly removed. You go from an ultra HD panorama of the world tho a blurry, out-of-focus land of ghosts.
You blink and stagger,physically feeling your eyes re-adjust.
Those able-eyed pricks then guffaw and say "You're sooo blind!"
"Yes, I am, luckily I have something that helps with that. I wonder where they went?"
4. When people assume that they're non-prescription
You spent hours searching for the perfect pair of glasses, you had over a sizeable stack of hard-earned cash, now you can look good and see good at the same time.
You proudly wear them and wait for the compliments to pour in.
What you instead get is, 'Are those real?'
'Of course they are,' you retort, aghast.
'They just look very hipster, I thought they were fake.'
5. They steam up when you come in from outside
The brisk, cold weather of winter brings its own trails for the be-spectacle. The chill air cools your glasses meaning that when you walk back inside you find that your vision slowly clouds over, as a layer of condensation settles across your lenses.
Simitainiously robbing you of your sight, and making you look hilarious.
6. Trying to walk anywhere in the rain
When the skies open and it rains, you may as well take your glasses off, otherwise prepare to see your vision distorted by amorphous bloblettes of water.
Even when you try to wipe them off they leave streaks behind.
Unless you can jury-rig some sort of windscreen wiper device onto your specs, there's no point wearing them in the rain.
7. You always feel like you look better without them
Glasses can dominate your face, and some people feel like they're specs cover up their natural beauty,
These individuals will avoid wearing their glasses at all costs. Deciding that squinting and peering blindly into the middle distance is better than the tortoise shell frames they picked up in the opticians.
8. People asking you 'Can you see without your glasses?'
Of course I fucking can't! That's why I wear glasses.