So you've woken up and things, well,to put it mildly, things could be better. Your head hurts. Your mouth is dry. Your fear levels are on a whole new level. Things are bad and the more awake you begin to feel, the worse everything around you gets. You are on a fast descent into the land of agony and there's little you can do to stop it. Or is there? Here are 7 of the greatest hangover cures ever:
1) Have a tactical vom.
Sure, it's not pleasant but it works a treat. Think of it as a way and means of washing out all of those toxic, hangover causing bad boys. Have a good old puke and get rid of the last remnants of last nights shame and all will be ok with the world again. In an hour or so...
2) Rehydrate yourself.
Unless you've been living under a rock and this is your first ever hangover (welcome to the club), then you'll know that a hangover is dehydration in its most cruel and awful form. The shakes, the cold sweats, the hot sweats, the wanting to get sick every time you move, the hunger cravings, the unquenchable thirst, not to mention the overwhelming tiredness that consumes you all day long. Water is the only solution to your problems now. It's just a pity that it tastes so God damn awful, today of all days. Throw a rehydration sachet into your water bottle (you get them in most pharmacies) and you'll feel better, faster.
3) Eat as much food as is humanly possible.
Food solves everything, that much we already know. So solving a hangover through the vast consumption of food is the most sensible option in your box of tricks. You'll need something substantial but delicious so grab yourself a kebab, a burger, some fries, whatever takes your fancy, and eat to your hearts content. Mmmmm food.
4) Sweat it out.
This is probably the last thing in the world that you feel like doing right now, but I promise, you'll feel roughly seven times better if you can drag your poor, broken body from the couch and muster up the courage to even go for a stroll. The fresh air, coupled with the sweat of the life ruining alcohol being omitted from your pores will make you feel like a whole newer, fresher, fitter, 'less of a wreck' human being. There's nothing to lose (the will to live aside).
5) And then wash away all of your impurities.
Because if you wake up clogged with alcohol and (girls) makeup, tan and the last shreds of your dignity, you mooch about all day in a cloud of your own filth, go and exercise and then come home, unwashed, and continue to sit there, smelly, disgusting and just generally being a dirt bird, then you are not a good or decent human and you really should consider getting your stuff together. Or at least have a shower.
6) Have a power nap (or three).
Power naps have the ability to cure everything from a broken heart to a sore head and a whole lot of stuff in between. You're probably unspeakably tired right about now (that'd be the dehydration) and so a good, solid, strong nap will sort you right out. Lay down your weary little head and let your worries float away. *Ahhh*
7) Then let all of your emotions out and chill.
I don't know about you, but I for one, tend to get rather emotional when I'm a tad hungover. Why? Well, alcohol is actually a depressant, which might help to explain the crowds of crying girls that tend to erupt in nightclub bathrooms. Being hungover is a very emotional time, you've probably verged on ruining your life more than once, you're probably broke and sick and the worst part is that it's all self-inflicted. Sit down, cry, shout, laugh, cry again and I promise you'll feel oh-so-good afterwards.