Ah yes, the acquisition of material assets and wealth. Nothing quite beats. Not love, not human compassion, not friendship. Nothing. And don't let anyone try and dissuade you from this. For most of us, unless your parents are wealthy; you have won the lottery; or, like one man I know, you find a carrier bag stuff with Danish Krone in the rushes by a canal, most of us have to put in a stint at work to get some cash flowing our way. As Dolly Parton once said "Working 9 to 5, what a way to make a living." While this is clearly an example of Ms. Parton arrogantly drawing attention to how easy and well-remunerated her own life in the limelight is compared to the life of the average blue collar worker she claims to represent in the song, it is the standard fare for most adults in Western civilisation.
Given that, during college, your bank account is often a bleak and barren expanse of misery, like the surface of the moon, or one of the Big Momma's House films, we have decided to help ameliorate your plight and show you some opportunities to get your pockets lined with thick stacks of dollah bills (or currency of your choosing). So, here are 7 part-time jobs available around Ireland, from this very second... and this one... and, etc.
1) Dublin - H. Samuel, Sales Associate
If what you've always wanted to do is kit members of the general public out in enough bling to make them look like some sort of paltry Mr. T tribute act, then this part-time job at jewellers H. Samuel is literally your jam.
2) Dublin - L'Occitane, Sales Associate
Some quick Googling as to what this shop actually is, has revealed to me that it sells organic beauty and hygiene products with a French twist. What exactly can a French twist on that be? Well, I briefly considered making some off-colour potentially xenophobic quip, but thought better of it. Instead work there yourself and find out!
3) Cork - Candlemania, Sales Assistant
Look, we all in our own way love candles. However if you would describe yourself as 'manic' about them, then oh boy, have we got the opportunity for you. Candlemania in Cork is hiring a part-time sales assistant. It is unclear if the position also covers the cost of the therapy necessary to cure you of your mania.
4) Galway - Foot Locker, Sales Associate
If you have always considered your calling to be shodding members of the general public, in a strictly part-time capacity, then look no further than here.
5) Galway - Vodafone, Retail Adviser
Are you a resident of Galway or student at NUIG literally weeping at the dismal state of your finances, like some sort of one-person homage to Greece circa 2012? Then you could begin to work as a part-time retail adviser with Vodafone. Now doesn't that sound lovely?
6) Maynooth - Card Factory, Sales Associate
It's a factory. For cards. And they need you.*
*N.B. It's actually a shop selling cards, produced off-site, who need someone to work there, but unfortunately I'm legally obliged to stress that the is no reason why it would need to be you in particular.
7) Waterford - The Bagel Factory, Counter Staff
It's a factory. For bagels. And they need you.*
*N.B. Much the same as above here really, except you can replace the word 'cards' with 'bagels' and we're about settled.