The human brain is a mysterious fig. Just take a look at our logic: to use another person's toothbrush is considered fucking disgusting, while putting someone else's genitals in your mouth is fine 'n' dandy. Things get even weirder when you consider all of the unconscious ways in which your pesky brain messes with you, ways like...
1) Faces on doorknobs
This is a phenomenon known as pareidolia, where the brain is grasping at straws trying to find some meaning in whatever it's looking at. This causes us to see faces where they don't actually exist, such as on doorknobs and crudely drawn geometric shapes like smiley faces. It's also the reason why Jesus seems to keep popping up on people's toast.
2) Earworms
An irritating one. Research has shown that 98% of people experience earworms. No, this isn't a STI one picks up while travelling across Thailand, but the phenomenon where a portion of song gets stuck in your head (usually 15 to 30 seconds in length) and your brain plays it on a continuous loop to the point where you fear you're gonna lose your shit. In fact, convicted murderer Jean Harris has been experiencing an earworm for over 33 years: no wonder she capped somebody.
3) Rorschach tests
Also known as an inkblot test. This is a psychological test where a person is shown an abstract image and asked to describe what they see. This test was designed so that a subject would project their thoughts onto images which were simply randomly formed shapes of ink and it has been proven to provide valuable insights, for example, it could reveal whether someone was a sex-crazed maniac. Now tell me, what do you see?
4) Hearing spooky noises
You know that feeling. You watch a movie about ghosts or home invasion or some shit and suddenly all the little creaking noises in the house become proof positive that you're about to die a gory ol' death. This is like your brain waiting for you to get all relaxed and settled into bed before it screams "Boo!" in your ear purely for shits 'n' gigs.
5) Inventing memories
We do this all the time, it's our mind's attempt to fill in gaps in our memory. Usually, our parents will tell us a story from our early childhood so often that – even though we were too young to possibly remember it – we start to build a false memory out of it. Of course, as we get older we mess our memories up by adding alcohol to the mix, which only makes matters worse.
6) Semantic satiation
Try this right now: Pick a word, any word, perhaps even your name. Now I want you to repeat it out loud, over and over, I want you to keep repeating it until any meaning associated with that word has completely faded away, and it seems like you're just making weird noises with any inherent significance. If you're wondering what that feeling is, it's just your mind being fucked.
7) Sympathetic pain
This happens because of little something called "mirror neurons" in your brain, which help us to sympathise with others and causes us to laugh, smile, and hiccup contagiously. You know the feeling, you hear a story of your mate getting his knickers caught in a bear-trap and you instinctively pull a pained expression and cradle your ever-so-vulnerable coin purse. For the greatest achievement of the biological universe, sometimes the brain can be a real A-hole.
