Dear No Voters.
What does marriage mean to you? Does it mean to have and to hold? To love another with every fibre of your being? To put someone else before you, no matter what? To promise that you'll always be there for one another, through thick and thin? People are planning on voting no for a variety of reasons, but I want to understand why you are voting no.
You see, I knew that there were lots of people out there in the no camp. People, I stupidly presumed, mainly made up of a certain age, of certain religious tendencies or beliefs, or mainly, of fear. Because that's the sad thing here. These no voters, the ones I've met, the ones I know, well they don't know very much about this whole thing. They have grown up and failed to blossom into open minded people, primarily because of fear or fearful parents. Fear of what people will think and, God forbid, what people will say. Fear of those who dare to dance outside their rigid circles. Fear of what letting two people in love get married will do to them, people who they probably don't even know in the first place.
I grew up surrounded by these people. Not my family for the most part, but growing up in small town Ireland isn't easy. People talk, people judge like no other, people want you to be a certain way, walk a certain walk and if you dare to not be that exact person? Well, you're an outsider, a freak, you think you're too good for us, don't you? Who do you think you are?
I see it every day. Little old ladies, my Grandmother is no exception, consumed with fear and judgement and misery because they were brought up believing that you get married, serve your husband, be a good wife and go to mass every single day and what did this do for them? It left these women hard, miserable and completely bitter about the life that we, their grandchildren, live. Off enjoying life, studying, working, drinking, dancing, travelling, living and loving; they don't understand us and don't want to.
Voting no means you are regressing to a time and a place where misery was normality. Where it was the Churches way or there simply wasn't a way. Ireland has come so far in some ways, but in some ways we're still stifled by our past. It's horrific to believe that being Gay was illegal in Ireland until 1992, a fact that still makes me freeze. It's been 23 years to get to this point. What the hell have we been doing? This is a time where gay couples are still too afraid to hold hands in public. Where young gay men are constantly subjected to taunts of 'fag' on public transport by loudmouthed, miniscule minded little boys. This is a time where a girl in love with another girl has to keep it from her whole family and live her life in secret, consumed with guilt. Times need to change rapidly, and this is our chance.
Are you thinking of voting no? Are you willing to deny someone their basic human rights? There are no voters out there who firmly believe they aren't hurting anyone in making this choice. Think again.
You are hurting people. You're actually hurting more people than you'll ever truly understand; my friends, people whom I've grown up around, people who have dreamed about that special day just the same as you or I. You're hurting God knows how many little girls or boys too young now to know what gay or straight is, but who will one day understand. By saying no, you're telling them that what they are is not okay and makes them less than any straight person. You're hurting their family, the people who'll have to tell them that actually, their own country voted them as outcasts not worthy of marrying the one they love. You're no better than those boys throwing hard bottles and stinging words down the back of the bus.
Is that who you are? A bully? A belittler? A person who wants to ruin the futures and joy of people you've never even had the pleasure of meeting?
Vote yes because it's the right thing to do. May 22nd should be your time to change, to become a person who wants to make the world a better, more colourful place. Vote yes and change things for the absolute better. Vote yes for equality. Vote yes for love and most of all, vote yes for you.
Yours sincerely,
A yes voter.
