Not all of us are lucky enough to have the full college experience. The select few that can continue to benefit from Mammy's cooking and washing and love and care and attention, all know the struggles of being the excuse of a person you generally become in college while you're living at home. Here's some stuff you'll know to be true when you're living at home:
1) "I'M NOT IN 'TIL 12!"
It's 8 am and your Mam is waking you up for your 9am lecture. But her limited knowledge of your timetable prevents her from preventing you from your essential lie-in. HA!
2) Nothing In The Fridge
What are you supposed to eat for breakfast? You're living at home for a reason, the main reason being that you won't run out of food. When will your family realise that you have to eat too? Well?
3) Not Growing Up Fully
There's something that living at home with younger siblings and parents, and continuing to have the same arguments and disagreements does to your maturity. I mean, you know how to adult and all, but you sometimes forget this when your 12-year-old sister starts acting the maggot.
4) Public Transport
Inevitable. The smell of fart. The smell of BO. The smell of crap from when you have to stand beside the toilet. The loud phone conversations. The see you next Tuesday broadcasting his music in the not-very-loud-but-very-annoying way that earphones sound at full volume. Unless you live around the corner from college, you relate.
5) One-Night Stands
One-night stands are part and parcel of college life. But no matter how progressive your parents are, Ireland is still not a place you can bring a stranger home to your Ma and Da's house for a night of drunken sex and not be in some sort of trouble. It's just not the done thing. Same goes for...
6) Excessive Drinking
Real talk. You can get as polluted as you like with your parents at a family wedding or your uncle's 50th, but you come home after 47 €2.50 vodka Red Bulls in the nearest hovel and you run into your Mammy, so help you God. For the whole pissed thing to work, both parties need to be heavily inebriated. Hey, just like most of your best social interactions in college then...
If your mother is still cleaning your room then you my friend, have a problem. By all means, live in filth, but your Mother is not a maid. (As a general rule, lads should only do a deep clean of their room in advance of a free gaff/impending visit of a lady friend).
8) No Hot Water
Yep, those of us who still haven't left home know the struggle as well as you disgusting creatures who live in student accommodation. It's a vicious circle really. Damned if you turn on that immersion and risk the wrath of your parents, damned if you don't and find yourself jumping in and out from under a cold stream of water because your sister took a 6 hour shower because she "needed to wash her hair".
Sometimes Netflix doesn't have all the answers and you just want to die on the couch with the telly on and the fire roaring and a cup of tea and 7 or 8 biscuits. And then you find your Mam watching f**king Xposé from "your spot". Cheers Maw.