You shiver slightly in the wind, your bare legs rubbing against the cold, slick rubber of your wellington boots. A very rowdy man behind you wearing a bucket hat and a rain poncho that seems to have been assembled from several supermarket carrier bags gaffer-taped together spills some warm Grolsch down your back. A thick rain is falling. You feel the warm Grolsch mix with the rivulets of frigid rain running down the cleft of your buttocks. Echo & the Bunnymen are playing, they are playing there in front of you and, though, you find the idea of watching Echo & the Bunnymen live quite exciting, the accumulated fatigue of debauchery begins to take its toll. Your eyelids droop. To counter this you reach into the sodden nylon bumbag, slung over your shoulder so that the dramp, coarse strap has begun to chaffe the exposed skin on your neck. You retrieve a miniature spirits container and a bent Pepporami. You consume these, to replenish your energy, so that you may watch more, so that you may consume more.
If this sounds like a weekend plan you're craving a thick slice of then have we got the news for you. A limited amount of additional tickets for Electric Picnic have been released on Ticketmaster. They currently have general admission weekend tickets and weekend tickets for the family campsite available - though the website stresses that they've 'low availability' of these.
Do not let the fact that all reasonable metrics provided by reputable weather-forecasting agencies have predicted the approach of a rainstorm of a quasi-apocalyptic nature. Do not be dissuaded by the short notice of this announcement that could very well see you without any accommodation to speak of, roaming the campsite each night looking for a somewhat inviting hedge that might provide slightly more thorough shelter than the other hedges around. Do not let the tediousness of admin and practicality get in the way of your one chance to see Miles Kane in the flesh.
The general admission camping tickets are priced at €260, as are the tickets to the family campsite. So, go, go hoover those puppies up. If you the general admission tickets sell out but you are sufficiently committed you could even consider the possibility of perhaps renting some children from an acting agency to pose as your progeny so that you may finagle your way into the family campsite. Though the costs for this course of action will undoubtedly prove substantial - both financially and reputationally, should your ploy be discovered.