Fears 'Beast From The East' Set To Return On Paddy's Day

Fears 'Beast From The East' Set To Return On Paddy's Day

We here at CollegeTimes, seemingly like all Irish media outlets, are fans of gratuitously hyperbolising the severity of some weather that may or not be happening.

With memories of the icy tundra that Ireland became following the 'Beast from the East' still fresh in our minds, sensationalising mildly cold weather is the order of the day.

Thankfully, our wish is the weather's command* and early reports are indicating that Ireland could be set for another blast of frigid Siberian air bringing with it the possibility of snow, ice and a complete shut-down of all national infrastructure. Met Éireann are saying that the possibility of things getting gratuitously nippy this weekend stands at around 50/50 at present. However, if it does happen it would be far less severe or prolonged than what we experienced several weeks ago.

While this would undoubtedly complicate many people's Paddy's Day plans, and make the possibility of wandering the streets slowly working your way through the various cans you have secreted about your person, slightly less palatable, it may have fantastic implications for the parade. I imagine there to be no funnier sight in this universe than seeing a group of 30 trombonists in full marching-band regalia attempt to push a float, bearing a 30-foot papier-mâché effigy of St. Brigid and some very beleaguered boy-scouts from Cobh, free from a snow drift. It could be wonderful.

"But where's your corroborating evidence!?" I hear you plaintively wail at your computer screen. Well, don't take my word for it, take this vaguely worded Tweet from TV3 weatherman, Deirc Ó hArtagáin.


* would like to clarify that we do not, as of yet, possess the means to control the weather.

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Rory McNab

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