So the first round of Premier League football has commenced and it has been glorious for the lads, and downright awful for the ladies. Not all of them, but certainly the vast majority. So what does it mean for the girls now that the 2014/15 football season is officially underway? Take note.
1. On weekends, your boyfriend will be more emotionally unstable than you are during your "lady time."
When your boyfriend's favourite team is playing a match on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon, be prepared. He will have the emotional stability of a falling A-bomb. The average football match lasts 90 minutes and during that time, he will experience a rollercoaster of emotions. If you don't ever want to see your boyfriend cry, don't hang around when his team loses to their local rivals.
2. Sky Sports will occupy more of your boyfriend's time than you will.
The SKY+ package is his first love. He'll you that you are but it isn't true. We're sorry to break it to you. This is judged 100% on his reaction when someone walks in front of the TV during a football match, or God forbid, plugs out the SKY box to get his attention. Can you really argue against that now?
3. Unfortunately, you slip down on his list of priorities.
Men are simple creatures, and need 5 key things to keep them happy and pleased. These 5 things may switch places at the top of his priorities, but nothing else will ever break into that top 5. Here they are if you don't already know: 1) Sports 2) Food 3) Girls 4) Sleep 5) TV. This is a highly unstable and interchangeable top 5, but they usually remain in the above order.
4. It's going to get even worse when FIFA 15 comes out in September.
Every August a new season of football begins and every September/October a new edition of FIFA comes out across all game platforms. You should know from experience that FIFA will grab your boyfriend by the balls and not let go. It's definitely a Love/Hate relationship though, as you will see if you watch him lose an online Ultimate Team match in the dying minutes.
5. Don't worry, there is a silver lining - no World Cup next summer.
At least there will be no World Cup in the summer of 2015, so you get that extra 5 weeks to cuddle up to your boyfriend and capture his attention until next August comes around. We hope you've found this informative guide helpful. Please don't shoot the messenger.