What Your Girlfriend Says Vs What She Really Means

So not all women are the same, clearly, and sometimes I really believe that women are simple creatures... And then I see one of my most secure, sound, relaxed friends with her boyfriend and I realise that sometimes, we can actually be bat shit crazy. Here's a few extreme examples of girlisms.

Saying: “Just some constructive criticism here…”
Really means: “I’m trying not to be an bitch here…”

Saying: “You don't have to”
Really means: “You absolutely have to”

Saying: “If you weren't with me, which one of my friends would you go for”
Really means: “If I say who I know you're thinking of I'm literally never letting you within 6 meters of her again”

Saying: “Remember how cute you were when we first got together”
Really means: “Seriously, what the hell has happened to you”

Saying: “At the end of the day…”
Really means: “I’m just saying words that don’t have anything to do with what I’m trying to say.”


Saying: “Let’s try to get on the same page here.”
Really means: “Can you please just agree with me so that we can stop fighting”

Saying: “You do whatever you want”
Really means: “It's up to you to judge from my tone whether you should actually do whatever you want”

Saying: “Don’t worry it happens to every guy”
Really means: “I'm gona remember this...”

Saying: "So who was there last night?"
Really means: "So was your ex there last night?"

Saying: "Are you watching this?"
Really means: "I don't want to watch this"

Saying: "What's your ex's name again?"
Really means: "I need to know her full name so I can stalk her on facebook"

Saying: “Are you sure about that?”
Really means: “I know for a fact that you're wrong so I'm gona give you a second chance to figure it out.”

Saying: “Maybe in future...”
Really means: “Don’t do what you just did ever again.”

Saying: "Do you think I've put on weight?
Really means: "I'm feeling a bit insecure, tell me something reassuring"

Saying: “That was definitely different”
Really means: “What the fuck was that”

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Kate Breslin

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