Meeting your girlfriend's parents. It is an inevitable event that you must prepare for correctly if you hope to navigate it successfully. Here's are a few tips on how to come out of the encounter unscathed.
1) Give A Good Firm Handshake
First impressions are essential and one of the first things that people pick up on is how you shake their hand. Make sure you don't go for a limp, sweaty, fleeting shake. A strong grip where you shake for over two minutes while making intense eye contact will show them that you are no pushover.
2) Stand Your Ground
When you're at the dinner table with the 'in-laws' there is bound to be controversial opinions flying back and forth. This is simply their attempt to suss out your morals, your political leanings, your philosophies. Your best bet here is to go completely against their stance: If they're Catholic, you're a Satanist, If they're pro-choice, you're pro-life and if they voted equality you're the biggest homophobe going. They will respect that you are sticking to your guns despite popular consensus.
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3) Eat Everything You're Given
At the risk of coming across as rude or ungrateful you must eat everything that is put before your eyes. Even if say, you are allergic to peanuts, that is no excuse. A trip to the ER is worth the brownie points.
4) Insist You Believe In No Sex Before Marriage
The biggest problem any parent will have with you going out with their child is the fact you are essentially robbing their baby for your own twisted desires. Allay this fear by telling them that you have no intention of 'living in sin', that you both wear chastity belts and are not even sure how sex works.
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5) Take An Interest In Their Interests
If the Dad is into GAA, go to a match with him. If the mam is into singing join her choir. If they like walking, follow them on their trails. They'll love the company.
6) Be Open To Their Traditions
Every family has their own weird customs, you just have to embrace them. If they ritualistically sacrifice animals to the God of War then bring a goat to the next dinner.
7) Plámás Them
Plámás them or brown nose for the non-gaelgóirs is a great way to curry favour with your girl's folks. Tell the da he's lost weight. Offer the mother a foot massage. Weasel your way into the good books.
